Thursday, August 19, 2010

The Top 1000 of my lifetime, #850-801


Oh, the train wrecks! The beautiful train wrecks!

When I was in college, my radio buddy Mike Adams and I used to host a show on WOCR-FM called "Culture Shock." We would take turns picking the next song, each of us trying to create a worse train wreck than the one before. While this list doesn't include both AC/DC's "Back in Black" and Tevye singing "If I Were a Rich Man" (as our show did one night), it comes close, sporting both "Chariots of Fire" by Vangelis and "Tipsy" by J-Kwon. Gotta love it.

My favorite in this 50-song segment has to be Carly Simon's spectacular "Nobody Does It Better," a #2-peaking hit from the fall of 1977. It has it all: a silky voice, suckerpunch chords, actual dynamic level shifts, and that steamy, sexy, James Bond connection. But Eve's "Gangsta Lovin'" is also pretty darn amazing for completely different, train-wrecked reasons.

And please, PLEASE don't make me listen to Usher's "My Way" EVER again. I feel dirty every time I hear it.

850  Chasing Cars  -  Snow Patrol  2006
849  Confessions Part II  -  Usher  2004
848  You Are The Sunshine Of My Life  -  Stevie Wonder  1973
847  Listen To What The Man Said  -  Wings  1975
846  Undercover Angel  -  Alan O'Day  1977
845  Please Mr. Please  -  Olivia Newton-John  1975
844  Gangsta Lovin'  -  Eve featuring Alicia Keys  2002
843  Car Wash  -  Rose Royce  1977
842  Without Me  -  Eminem  2002
841  Nobody Does It Better  -  Carly Simon  1977
840  As Long As You Love Me  -  Backstreet Boys  1998
839  Electric Avenue  -  Eddy Grant  1983
838  Up Where We Belong  -  Joe Cocker & Jennifer Warnes  1982
837  Somebody's Watching Me  -  Rockwell  1984
836  I Don't Want To Miss A Thing  -  Aerosmith  1998
835  Name  -  Goo Goo Dolls  1996
834  Got To Give It Up Pt. 1  -  Marvin Gaye  1977
833  You're The First, The Last, My Everything  -  Barry White  1975
832  What A Fool Believes  -  The Doobie Brothers  1979
831  Runaway  -  Janet Jackson  1995
830  Turn Off The Light  -  Nelly Furtado  2001
829  I Don't Wanna Cry  -  Mariah Carey  1991
828  Thank God I'm A Country Boy  -  John Denver  1975
827  Clumsy  -  Fergie  2008
826  Freak Like Me  -  Adina Howard  1995
825  Angie Baby  -  Helen Reddy  1975
824  Leavin'  -  Jesse McCartney  2008
823  Torn Between Two Lovers  -  Mary MacGregor  1977
822  Kiss On My List  -  Daryl Hall & John Oates  1981
821  My Way  -  Usher  1998
820  Be Without You  -  Mary J. Blige  2006
819  Can't Smile Without You  -  Barry Manilow  1978
818  Talking In Your Sleep  -  The Romantics  1984
817  Thong Song  -  Sisqo  2000
816  Where Do You Go  -  No Mercy  1996
815  I Wanna Be Rich  -  Calloway  1990
814  Miracles  -  Jefferson Starship  1975
813  Love On The Rocks  -  Neil Diamond  1981
812  Take My Breath Away  -  Berlin  1986
811  Venus  -  Bananarama  1986
810  Tipsy  -  J-Kwon  2004
809  Rock Your Body  -  Justin Timberlake  2003
808  Fire  -  The Pointer Sisters  1979
807  Closer  -  Ne-Yo  2008
806  Chariots Of Fire - Titles  -  Vangelis  1982
805  Girls Just Want To Have Fun  -  Cyndi Lauper  1984
804  Miss You  -  Rolling Stones  1978
803  Disco Inferno  -  50 Cent  2005
802  Uptown Girl  -  Billy Joel  1983
801  The Rubberband Man  -  Spinners  1977

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

The Top 1000 of my lifetime, #900-851

In this segment, I've got to admit to some nostalgic factors. As a sappy teenager, there was nothing I loved more than a bombastic love song. So I still love to hear Air Supply's "Making Love Out of Nothing at All" (#875).

But I could sure go the rest of my life without ever again hearing "Bump, Bump, Bump" by B2K & P. Diddy (#890)!


900 You Learn - Alanis Morissette 1996
899 Sunny Came Home - Shawn Colvin 1997
898 The Most Beautiful Girl In The World - [the artist formerly known as Prince] 1994
897 Pillow Talk - Sylvia 1973
896 November Rain - Guns N' Roses 1992
895 MMMBop - Hanson 1997
894 The Girl Is Mine - Michael Jackson/ Paul McCartney 1983
893 Doesn't Really Matter - Janet 2000
892 Your Love Is My Drug - Ke$ha 2010
891 There You Go - Pink 2000
890 Bump, Bump, Bump - B2K & P. Diddy 2003
889 SOS - Rihanna 2006
888 Stutter - Joe featuring Mystikal 2001
887 Working My Way Back To You/ Forgive Me, Girl - Spinners 1980
886 Dancing Queen - Abba 1977
885 Slow Motion - Juvenile featuring Soulja Slim 2004
884 Send One Your Love - Stevie Wonder 1980
883 Bring It All To Me - Blaque 2000
882 Sittin' Up In My Room - Brandy 1996
881 Sexual Healing - Marvin Gaye 1983
880 Hotel California - Eagles 1977
879 Stop Draggin' My Heart Around - Stevie Nicks with Tom Petty 1981
878 I Know - Dionne Farris 1995
877 Hungry Like The Wolf - Duran Duran 1983
876 Me & U - Cassie 2006
875 Making Love Out Of Nothing At All - Air Supply 1983
874 21 Questions - 50 Cent featuring Nate Dogg 2003
873 A Whole New World (Aladdin's Theme) - Peabo Bryson & Regina Belle 1993
872 Little Willy - Sweet 1973
871 Lately - Divine 1998
870 Candy Rain - Soul For Real 1995
869 How Do You Talk To An Angel - The Heights 1992
868 Slow Hand - Pointer Sisters 1981
867 Turn Me On - Kevin Lyttle featuring Spragga Benz 2004
866 I Need A Girl (Part One) - P. Diddy featuring Usher & Loon 2002
865 Shake It Off - Mariah Carey 2005
864 (Your Love Has Lifted Me) Higher And Higher - Rita Coolidge 1977
863 The Rose - Bette Midler 1980
862 He Loves U Not - Dream 2001
861 My Immortal - Evanescence 2004
860 I'll Never Love This Way Again - Dionne Warwick 1979
859 For You I Will - Monica 1997
858 Joyride - Roxette 1991
857 Queen Of Hearts - Juice Newton 1981
856 Naughty Girl - Beyoncé 2004
855 Superstition - Stevie Wonder 1973
854 Cruisin' - Smokey Robinson 1980
853 You Gotta Be - Des'ree 1995
852 Open Arms - Journey 1982
851 Because Of You - 98 Degrees 1999

The Top 1000 of my lifetime, #950-901

OK, here's part 2 of 20 -- #950 to #901 of the 1000 biggest hits of my lifetime. If you're near my age, they're pretty much the top hits of your lifetime, too!

My favorite in this segment is "Sir Duke" by Stevie Wonder, which I first heard as a DJ on KJR-FM, "the greatest hits of the seventies," some 17 years after the song was first a hit.

"My Heart Will Go On," at #939, certainly deserves an asterisk; like it or not, it truly was a much bigger hit than this. Ditto #936, "I'll Be There for You" by the Rembrandts. But in the late 1990s, for a variety of reasons, Billboard was doing a pretty poor job measuring songs' real popularity. I'll write more about that later. I'm in the process of recreating the week-by-week charts of the '90s in a way that I believe improves them. But that's a VERY long-term project.

In this segment, we also have the longest title ever to appear on the charts, at #946. And it actually spent a week at #1 in 1981.

950 Switch - Will Smith 2005
949 Bills, Bills, Bills - Destiny's Child 1999
948 Miss You - Aaliyah 2003
947 Only Wanna Be With You - Hootie & The Blowfish 1995
946 Medley: Intro Venus/ Sugar Sugar/ No Reply/ I'll Be Back/ Drive My Car/ Do You Want To Know A Secret/ We Can Work It Out/ I Should Have Known Better/ Nowhere Man/ You're Going To Lose That Girl/ Stars On 45 - Stars On 45 1981
945 Blame It - Jamie Foxx featuring T-Pain 2009
944 Any Time, Any Place - Janet Jackson 1994
943 Sir Duke - Stevie Wonder 1977
942 Jump (For My Love) - The Pointer Sisters 1984
941 Hold Me - Fleetwood Mac 1982
940 Survivor - Destiny's Child 2001
939 My Heart Will Go On - Celine Dion 1998
938 Paparazzi - Lady Gaga 2009
937 The Way You Love Me - Faith Hill 2001
936 I'll Be There For You - The Rembrandts 1995
935 Rapture - Blondie 1981
934 Fantastic Voyage - Coolio 1994
933 After The Love Has Gone - Earth, Wind & Fire 1979
932 Nice & Slow - Usher 1998
931 No More Tears (Enough Is Enough) - Barbra Streisand & Donna Summer 1979
930 Can You Feel The Love Tonight - Elton John 1994
929 Dirty Laundry - Don Henley 1983
928 Hold Me Now - Thompson Twins 1984
927 Lost In Love - Air Supply 1980
926 This Kiss - Faith Hill 1998
925 Halo - Beyoncé 2009
924 Where The Party At - Jagged Edge featuring Nelly 2001
923 Hard Habit To Break - Chicago 1984
922 Jenny From The Block - Jennifer Lopez featuring Jadakiss & Styles 2003
921 BedRock - Young Money featuring Lloyd 2010
920 Finally - Ce Ce Peniston 1992
919 Head Over Feet - Alanis Morissette 1996
918 My Life Would Suck Without You - Kelly Clarkson 2009
917 Far Away - Nickelback 2006
916 Blue Bayou - Linda Ronstadt 1978
915 Sexy Can I - Ray J & Yung Berg 2008
914 My Sacrifice - Creed 2002
913 Gonna Fly Now (Theme From 'Rocky') - Bill Conti 1977
912 Angel - Sarah McLachlan 1999
911 Loves Me Like A Rock - Paul Simon 1973
910 Dim All The Lights - Donna Summer 1979
909 We Got The Beat - Go-Go's 1982
908 Clair - Gilbert O'Sullivan 1973
907 Achy Breaky Heart - Billy Ray Cyrus 1992
906 What Goes Around … Comes Around - Justin Timberlake 2007
905 Eye In The Sky - Alan Parsons Project 1982
904 You Found Me - The Fray 2009
903 Let's Groove - Earth, Wind & Fire 1982
902 Southern Nights - Glen Campbell 1977
901 Money Maker - Ludacris featuring Pharrell 2006

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

The top 1,000 hits of my lifetime ... let's try this again!


I began blogging the top 1000 of my lifetime a few days ago. But as I got into the project, I realized the formulas I’d used just weren’t working. So I pulled down what I had done and started over.

Let’s try this again; I’m pretty happy with the list now. Rankings are based on performance of the song at the time it was popular on the Billboard pop charts. Since the charts have behaved differently in different eras, I’ve applied a weighting system to give each era fair representation across the list. That was the "math is hard" part!

So here are numbers 1000 through 951. What are your favorites in this first segment? What songs do you never want to hear again?

1000 Boombastic - Shaggy 1995
999 I'm Your Boogie Man - KC & the Sunshine Band 1977
998 Photograph - Ringo Starr 1973
997 The Closer I Get To You - Roberta Flack with Donny Hathaway 1978
996 100% Pure Love - Crystal Waters 1994
995 Truly - Lionel Richie 1982
994 She Bop - Cyndi Lauper 1984
993 Sara Smile - Daryl Hall & John Oates 1976
992 Dueling Banjos - Eric Weissberg & Steve Mandell 1973
991 I'll Be There - Mariah Carey 1992
990 The River Of Dreams - Billy Joel 1993
989 Remember The Time - Michael Jackson 1992
988 New Kid In Town - Eagles 1977
987 Hero - Chad Kroeger featuring Josey Scott 2002
986 If - Janet Jackson 1993
985 99 Luftballons - Nena 1984
984 Heartache Tonight - The Eagles 1979
983 Master Blaster (Jammin') - Stevie Wonder 1980
982 Push - Matchbox 20 1997
981 With A Little Luck - Wings 1978
980 I Write Sins Not Tragedies - Panic! At The Disco 2006
979 Mouth - Merril Bainbridge 1996
978 Regulate - Warren G & Nate Dogg 1994
977 My Ding-A-Ling - Chuck Berry 1972
976 Heart Of Glass - Blondie 1979
975 All You Wanted - Michelle Branch 2002
974 Lose Control - Missy Elliott featuring Ciara & Fat Man Scoop 2005
973 Don't Mess With My Man - Nivea featuring Brian & Brandon Casey 2003
972 In The Still Of The Nite - Boyz II Men 1993
971 It's Not Over - Daughtry 2007
970 Shoop - Salt-N-Pepa 1993
969 She Works Hard For The Money - Donna Summer 1983
968 Can't Let Go - Mariah Carey 1992
967 The Best Of Times - Styx 1981
966 Butterfly - Crazy Town 2001
965 Joanna - Kool & The Gang 1984
964 Paralyzer - Finger Eleven 2008
963 We're An American Band - Grand Funk 1973
962 Red Light Special - TLC 1995
961 Love Shack - The B-52's 1989
960 Just The Way You Are - Billy Joel 1978
959 Don't Trust Me - 3OH!3 2009
958 The Living Years - Mike + The Mechanics 1989
957 Absolutely (Story Of A Girl) - Nine Days 2000
956 I Wish - Stevie Wonder 1977
955 Move Ya Body - Nina Sky featuring Jabba 2004
954 Crush - Jennifer Paige 1998
953 More Than I Can Say - Leo Sayer 1981
952 He Wasn't Man Enough - Toni Braxton 2000
951 I Need A Girl (Part Two) - P. Diddy & Ginuwine featuring Loon, Mario Winans & Tammy Ruggeri 2002

Friday, August 6, 2010

Flashback to the summer of '83

"Well, Josh, now you get twelve or fourteen weeks off so you can come back refreshed." So said my 5th grade teacher, Mr. Hinkley, as we said our goodbyes and I got ready to go off to junior high school. I still remember his comment 27 years later because I'd never thought of the summer in terms of weeks before. Only 12 or 14 weeks? That's not long enough! Yet I'm sure kids these days don't get even that many.

Well, it turned out to be a great summer. I started playing the cornet, I read lots of Garfield cartoons, and above all, I saw "Return of the Jedi" for the first two times. I was remembering that summer tonight and thought I'd make a music mix for my iPod. I didn't know all the songs then, not quite being 11 years old. But I sure know them now:

1. Michael Jackson - Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'
2. Naked Eyes - Always Something There to Remind Me
3. The Police - Every Breath You Take
4. Men at Work - It's a Mistake
5. Daryl Hall & John Oates - Family Man
6. Duran Duran - Is There Something I Should Know
7. The Tubes - She's a Beauty
8. Berlin - The Metro
9. Chris DeBurgh - Don't Pay the Ferryman
10. Kajagoogoo - Too Shy
11. Styx - Don't Let It End

(imagine flipping the 90-minute Memorex cassette tape over at this point)

12. Grandmaster Melle Mel - White Lines (Don't Do It)
13. Prince - 1999
14. Mary Jane Girls - All Night Long
15. New Edition - Candy Girl
16. The Kinks - Come Dancing
17. Men at Work - Overkill
18. David Bowie - China Girl
19. R.E.M. - Radio Free Europe
20. ZZ Top - Sharp Dressed Man
21. Journey - Faithfully

Thursday, August 5, 2010

American Top 50 for 8/14/10

It's the time of hot summer songs! What do you think of this year's crop? Here are the week's top 10 hits:

#10 KATY PERRY - Teenage Dream

#9 USHER featuring PITBULL - DJ Got Us Fallin' in Love

#8 JASON DERULO - Ridin' Solo

#7 TRAVIE McCOY featuring BRUNO MARS - Billionaire

#6 ENRIQUE IGLESIAS featuring PITBULL - I Like It

#5 B.o.B featuring HAYLEY WILLIAMS of PARAMORE - Airplanes

#4 MIKE POSNER - Cooler than Me

#3 TAIO CRUZ - Dynamite

#2 KATY PERRY featuring SNOOP DOGG - California Gurls

#1 EMINEM featuring RIHANNA - Love the Way You Lie

Listen to the entire top 50 on my Live365.com broadcast.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Our Father

Here's a sermon I delivered on Father's Day three years ago. The lectionary readings are not the same today as they were that day, but it is about fathers.



OUR FATHER
June 17, 2007
sermon given at St. Thomas Episcopal Church, Medina, Washington

When I sat down to look at today’s lessons, I was shocked and amused to find this reading from the Second Book of Samuel. It reads like something from a soap opera. But we didn’t hear the entire story this morning, so please allow me to summarize.

King David, the greatest political figure in biblical history, is a peeping tom. It seems he has become intimately familiar with the bathing habits of Bathsheba, the wife of a soldier named Uriah. So while Uriah is out fighting on the battlefield, David calls Bathsheba to the palace. They have an affair, and Bathsheba gets pregnant. Well! How about that for biblical family values?

Naturally, David tries to cover this up. He calls Uriah back from the battlefield: “Uriah, how’s the war going? Splendid, splendid. Hey, you look like hell. Go home and take a break. I bet you miss your wife – wink wink, nudge nudge!” And he packs a royal feast for Uriah to share with his household.

But Uriah refuses to go home; he goes to the barracks instead. He may not be out on the front lines, but he’s still a soldier on duty, and propriety keeps him from enjoying his wife’s company. So David calls him back the next night and, intending to override Uriah’s sense of honor, gets him drunk. No dice. Uriah stumbles over to David’s couch and crashes there.

So David takes drastic measures: the next morning, he sends Uriah back to the war, all the way to the front lines, where the fighting is heaviest, and he orders all the soldiers to fall back on cue. But – oops! – it seems nobody ever told Uriah the cue. Uriah is left exposed and is shot full of arrows. Immediately, King David sends for Bathsheba and marries her.

Where was Ken Starr during the David administration?

Well, this is where the prophet Nathan steps in to point out David’s sin in the reading we heard today. Nathan uses a simple parable to judge the king’s actions. David is distraught that he could have done something so unconscionable, and he begs God for forgiveness. Bathsheba’s son is born, but almost immediately, the baby gets sick and dies.

Happy Father’s Day!

Fathers and sons … fathers and daughters … most of us have at least some memory of our fathers, and many of us have ongoing relationships with them. Hopefully, we respect them more than we respect King David in this story. But even if we never knew our biological fathers, we all have a concept of fatherhood. Priests often play this role in a person’s life, for good or ill. You could say Nathan was a father figure to David when nobody else could be. And all of us who are the least bit familiar with Christianity know this phrase: “Our Father, who art in Heaven …”

In his classic book Your God Is Too Small, the Rev. J.B. Phillips wrote: “The early conception of God is almost invariably founded upon the child’s idea of the father. If he is lucky enough to have a good father this is all to the good, provided of course that [his] conception of God grows with the rest of [his] personality. But if the child is afraid (or, worse still, afraid and feeling guilty because he is afraid) of his own father, the chances are that his Father in Heaven will appear to him a fearful Being.”

Phillips went on to say, “Christ Himself taught us to regard God as a Father. Are we to reject His own analogy? Of course not, so long as we remember that it is an analogy. When Christ taught His disciples to regard God as their Father in Heaven He did not mean that their idea of God must necessarily be based upon their ideas of their own fathers … It is the relationship that Christ is stressing.” The relationship is that God is “our superior [to the degree that] we are the superior of an infant child crawling on the hearthrug …”

As someone who is relatively new to fatherhood, I’ll paraphrase Phillips in this way: God is Daddy coming to your crib in the morning. He smiles, sings softly to you, picks you up gently and changes your diaper.

Fathers and sons … fathers and daughters … we learn how to love from our parents. In his book Good Goats, the Rev. Dennis Linn postulates: “God loves us at least as much as the person who loves us the most.” But what if I have a deadbeat dad whom I’ve rarely met, who seems unable or unwilling to pay child support? How good can I possibly imagine God, my Heavenly Father, to be? As Keanu Reeves said in the movie Parenthood, “You need a license to buy a dog, to drive a car … you even need a license to catch a fish. But they’ll let any [expletive deleted] be a father.”

Then there are the good fathers whose very example is hard to live up to. My father is a perfectionist. I say that not critically but with admiration, because I, also, tend toward perfectionism. But having grown up with my father, I have also seen some of his biggest flaws in action. For years, I’ve worked hard at not falling into any of the same traps he did. So imagine my shock when I realized a few years ago what I was really saying to myself: “My father tries to be perfect, so I’ll be perfect, too … only more so!” Dad, if you’re listening to the podcast … I love you. Happy Father’s Day. Forgive me.

For many of us, God is the Big Daddy who holds us up to impossible standards, and from whom we must seek forgiveness. Thank God for Jesus, who demanded that we do better, but who did not demand perfection. Jesus reminded us that God wants a relationship with us: a relationship of mutual caring, a relationship of authenticity, a relationship that brims with forgiveness simply because it is all about love.

So Jesus is at dinner with the richest and most powerful religious figures of his day. And a woman crashes the dinner party. The text says she was a “sinner.” What might this mean? A prostitute? (Yes, I know your mind went there first!) Well, even Jesus assures us in this passage that this woman has done some pretty awful things. She is an outcast – she is ritually unclean. And that means that anyone she touches, no matter how law-abiding he might be, will then have to go and perform certain rites to be allowed into the temple again. It’s the kind of thing that can throw off your whole weekend.

So the host of the party, Simon, is shocked—shocked—that Jesus allows this woman to touch him. And she doesn’t just touch him: she wets his feet with her tears, dries them with her hair, and smears ointment on them.

We don’t know anything about this woman’s father, but we do know something about her culture’s father figures, the Pharisees. All her life, she’s heard them pronounce that God despises her because of her sins, and that He always will. It is not the fault of Judaism; a simple reading of the Hebrew Scriptures could tell her God loves her, if she could only read. No, this is an issue of power—of the wealthy few living a comfortable life at the expense of women like her.

Then Jesus came along saying just the opposite of the Pharisees: that God forgives sinners. He was merely referring us back to the Scriptures again, but he was going a step further. He spoke about God’s forgiveness with such fatherly authority that he sidestepped the usual religious channels. This woman had heard all about Jesus, and she knew that if she could just touch him, he would understand.

Jesus showed us what a good father is really like: a living icon of God the Father. The example of Jesus can banish the ghosts of all our human fathers. Again, in Your God Is Too Small, J.B. Phillips wrote, “For all we know there many have been many of [Jesus’] hearers whose fathers were unjust, tyrannical, stupid, conceited, feckless, or indulgent.” The Pharisees could certainly have been accused of a few of these things. But Jesus redeemed the father-son analogy.

We human fathers do the best we can based on our image of God. If our image of God is warped, so will our parenting be. But if our image of God is refined by patience, gentleness, and forgiveness, our children will learn something about what God is really like. And we have Jesus as the example that both fathers and children can check themselves against.

In 2004, pop singer John Mayer gave us these lyrics:

Fathers, be good to your daughters/
Daughters will love like you do/
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers/
So mothers, be good to your daughters, too.

Amen.
 

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Top 10 Reasons for Being an Episcopalian

This is a classic that always bears repeating ...
although personally, I prefer a font you can drown in!

The Top 10 Reasons for Being an Episcopalian
(according to Robin Williams)...

10) No snake handling.
9) You can believe in dinosaurs.
8) Male and female, God created them; male and female we ordain them.
7) You don't have to check your brains at the door.
6) Pew aerobics.
5) The church year is color-coded.
4) Free wine on Sunday.
3) All of the pageantry, none of the guilt.
2) You don't have to know how to swim to get baptized.
1) No matter what you believe, there is bound to be at least one other Episcopalian who agrees with you.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

What is a Christian? And why do we baptize?

Recently on Facebook, I noticed a popular new page that everybody seems to be "liking." It's called, "Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car."

Well, duh: I figured that's self-evident. Baptism is what makes you a Christian, not going to church -- and your baptism can't be taken away, no matter how rarely you attend services. That Christians out there are using any other standard to measure who is and isn't a Christian is a source of some concern to me.

I think the confusion lies in the fact that some Christians have a hard time differentiating between the terms "Christian" and "good person." They feel that everybody who is a good person ought to be a Christian, and vice versa. The minute somebody deserves to have his "good person" label revoked, the implication is that he really wasn't a Christian in the first place, or isn't anymore. And the far more sinister assumption (which most would never admit) is that you can't be a good person unless you're a Christian. Clearly, the world is not this black and white!

Now, of course I'm bothered by the behavior of many Christians: greedy TV preachers, pedophile priests, politicians who use their faith to knock down their opponents, etc. But often, I'm also bothered by my own behavior. And there's no doubt in my mind that, no matter how much I mess up, I'm still a Christian. I always will be.

It also doesn't bother me that a good many people out there aren't baptized. Baptism is a sign of something that God has already done and is still doing: working through a person's life to help bring about the Kingdom. Just because we, as a community, haven't shown that sign publicly does not mean God does not love that person, or that the person is not doing good things.

Above all (and following logically from these points), failure to be baptized in no way relegates anybody to hell. We stopped believing that a long time ago. Yet some people (especially, I've noticed, the parents of non-churchgoers who won't baptize the grandchildren) still harbor some anxiety about this point -- anxiety that could probably be redirected to more constructive and faith-filled ends. I do understand the anxiety: who doesn't want their grandkids to have a good moral upbringing? But I don't believe that possibility hinges on baptism.

So that leads to an interesting point: Why do we baptize at all? If it is not necessary for salvation, and if not every good person need become a Christian, what's it for? Let's discuss.

Monday, June 7, 2010

With No Words at All

With No Words at All
sermon preached at St. Thomas Episcopal Church, Medina, WA
by Josh Hosler, Associate for Christian Formation
The First Sunday after Pentecost: Trinity Sunday/ May 30, 2010

Christy and Sarah and I recently spent a week in Kearny, Arizona, visiting my parents. One night at their house, Sarah threw a big temper tantrum, so we sent her to her room for a five-minute time-out. Now, the room that my parents had set up for her has its own exit to the backyard.

After her time-out was finished, Sarah Sophia returned to us refreshed and happy. She said, “Guess what, Daddy? During my time-out, I went outside, and I prayed to God with no words at all. And I didn’t hear anything back … except the wind blowing through the leaves in the trees.”

These days, Sarah is actively wrestling with a question we all wrestle with at one time or another: Why, when I talk to God, do I not hear an answer? We have explained to her that you may well hear an answer from God, but it probably won’t come in the form of an audible voice. So it seems that Sarah Sophia has chosen to meet God on God’s own terms … by praying without words. Who says kids that young can’t grasp abstract mysteries? “Out of the mouths of babes comes wisdom.” I think Sarah understands in some way that the wind blowing through the trees was her answer—the Hebrew word ruach for wind, the wind of the Holy Spirit, the breath of Divine Wisdom.

“Out of the mouths of babes comes wisdom.” That well known expression is not a direct quote from the Bible. We heard the original quote in today’s psalm: “Out of the mouths of infants and children your majesty is praised above the heavens.” That’s true too, of course. But I’m fairly certain that the word “wisdom” worked its way into the quote because, for centuries, the lectionary of the Church has paired this psalm with today’s
reading about Lady Wisdom from the Book of Proverbs.

This week I came across a prayer about wisdom:

Sophia!

You of the whirling wings,
circling, encompassing energy of God:
you quicken the world in your clasp.
One wing soars in heaven,
one wing sweeps the earth,
and the third flies all around us.
Praise to Sophia!
Let all the earth praise her!

“Praise to Sophia” …. those are unusual words to hear in church. Are we worshipping idols at St. Thomas? Actually, no … this prayer comes from the medieval Christian mystic Hildegard of Bingen. And “Sophia” is the Greek word for Wisdom, the Divine Wisdom personified in today’s reading from the ancient Book of Proverbs. In the original Hebrew, the word is Chokhmah, also a feminine name. Christian theologians see this
passage as a very early reference to what we now call the Holy Spirit, the power of God turned loose on the world. (If you’ve stood next to me while we recite the creed, you may have heard me change the gender of the Holy Spirit from “he” to “she.” This passage is one reason why.)

In this reading from Proverbs, I am most struck by the time in which it is set—that is, before time, or more accurately, outside of the construct of time. Lady Wisdom, Sophia, the Divine Feminine, the Holy Spirit, was there with God creating the universe! If you’re not that familiar with this reading, give it another look. Get out your Bible at home and read all of Proverbs chapters 8 and 9. It’s not widely quoted text, but it is beautiful and poetic, and I believe it speaks volumes about the nature of God as expressed in the Trinity.

So this is a wisdom Sunday. This is Trinity Sunday. This is the day when we make at least some faltering attempt to figure out how God can be one person and three persons simultaneously, and even both masculine and feminine. This is the Sunday when the rector invites a layperson to preach.

That’s OK—it really is useless to try to explain the Trinity, no matter who you are. One year on Trinity Sunday I was visiting Grace Cathedral in San Francisco. Their dean, Alan Jones, was the preacher, and he opened his sermon with these cautionary words: “It is said that nobody can preach on the Trinity for more than 60 seconds without lapsing into heresy.” Yet every year at this time, each congregation sends another heretic into the pulpit to try to contain the Trinity in mere words. If that is my task, then so be it. I’ll do my best not to use too many words.

It may be tempting to believe that only the most intelligent theologians can understand the Trinity. But this isn’t true at all. For one thing, no human can ever understand the Trinity. It’s a mystery, and as such it doesn’t belong to the realm of intelligence. The Trinity belongs to wisdom.

Sarah Sophia asked me once what the word “wisdom” means. Struggling to create a definition suitable for a young child, I answered, “Wisdom means knowing a lot about what’s really important.” Wisdom can’t be confined to formulas. It can be experienced, but it can only be expressed in metaphor.

To that end, and in an effort not to reinvent the triune wheel, as it were, I’d like to quote early 20th-century English author Dorothy Sayers. She gave us a very helpful metaphor for the Trinity in her stage play The Zeal of Thy House. Here, she identifies creativity as primary evidence of the fact that we are created in the image of God:

For every work of creation is threefold, an earthly trinity to match the heavenly.
 

First, there is the Creative Idea, passionless, timeless, beholding the whole work
complete at once, the end in the beginning: and this is the image of the Father.
 

Second, there is the Creative Energy begotten of that idea, working in time from
the beginning to the end, with sweat and passion, being incarnate in the bonds of
matter: and this is the image of the Word [that is, Christ].
 

Third, there is the Creative Power, the meaning of the work and its response in the
lively soul: and this is the image of the indwelling Spirit.
 

And these three are one, each equally in itself the whole work, whereof none can
exist without the other; and this is the image of the Trinity.
 

In her book The Mind of the Maker, Sayers expounded this metaphor at great length. And her metaphor really works for me. I can observe the fact and the truth of it every time I create something, whether it’s in words, in music, or in physical form. Let’s say I want to write a novel. It starts with an idea, and contained in the idea is the whole work, but it isn’t fleshed out yet. So I flesh it out, expending energy and time and, in the old days, paper and ink, to create the work. The book has the physical boundaries of cover and pages, and the time of my work has a beginning and an ending. Finally, I can share the finished novel with others, and if I’ve done a decent job harnessing the energy to give birth to the idea, the story I have created has power to inspire others … idea, energy, power.

As created beings, we are products and images of the Creative Idea, Energy and Power of God, and while we can speak of the three aspects individually, they cannot really be separated. We are the characters in the Great Story. And as if that weren’t enough, the author, the originator of the first Creative Idea, has also become a character in the story!

That character, the Creative Energy in the world, said such wonderful things and did such amazing things as a human being that most of us here today have chosen to commit our lives to him. In today’s reading from  John’s Gospel, the Creative Energy of God said, “I still have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now. When the Spirit of Truth comes, she will guide you into all the truth.” I can’t think of anything more exciting or more powerful than to imagine what these things may be that we can’t yet bear to know or to understand.

Oh, wow—look at my wrist. I’ve already been preaching heresy for several minutes. But let’s do one more thing.

In our house, one indispensable part of bedtime is Quiet Time, when Sarah and I share three minutes of silence. The silence isn’t always continuous: sometimes it shakes out something that Sarah wants to say before she ends her day. So something is said, we reflect on it, and we go back to silence. But usually it’s just Sarah and God and me in the silence, for three minutes.

As our brothers and sisters in the United Church of Christ say in all their literature, "God is still speaking, comma ..."

(Pause)

And not by words, but in silence can that sentence be completed …

(Silence)

Amen.