Wednesday, January 1, 2014

The Eighth Day of Christmas: and on to the GOEs.

I considered continuing my daily Advent reflection through the twelve days of Christmas. Then I remembered that I am taking the General Ordination Exams (GOEs) on the last several days of Christmas season, and I abandoned this idea. I've been jokingly referring to the GOEs by a Harry Potter moniker, the N.E.W.T.s (Nastily Exhausting Wizarding Tests).

We all take the exams on the same days, and there are seven exams in all: two tomorrow, two on Friday, one on Saturday, and two more on Monday.

Tomorrow we will be set two questions: one in the morning on the Bible, and one in the afternoon on liturgy and music.


Over the next few days, please keep in your prayers future priests of the Episcopal Church as we take these intense exams. Thank you!

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Christmas Day

Giotto's Nativity
Beloved, let us love one another, because love is from God; everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, for God is love. God’s love was revealed among us in this way: God sent his only Son into the world so that we might live through him ... God is love, and those who abide in love abide in God, and God abides in them. - 1 John 4

Merry Christmas. Let us abide in love.

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Advent, Day 24: Christmas Eve


In the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent by God to a town in Galilee called Nazareth, to a virgin engaged to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. The virgin’s name was Mary. And he came to her and said, “Greetings, favored one! The Lord is with you.” But she was much perplexed by his words and pondered what sort of greeting this might be. The angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. And now, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you will name him Jesus. He will be great, and will be called the Son of the Most High, and the Lord God will give to him the throne of his ancestor David. He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of his kingdom there will be no end.” Mary said to the angel, “How can this be, since I am a virgin?” The angel said to her, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; therefore the child to be born will be holy; he will be called Son of God. And now, your relative Elizabeth in her old age has also conceived a son; and this is the sixth month for her who was said to be barren. For nothing will be impossible with God.” Then Mary said, “Here am I, the servant of the Lord; let it be with me according to your word.” Then the angel departed from her. - Luke 1:26-38

John Collier, The Annunciation
 from http://www.hillstream.com/annunciation.html
"For nothing will be impossible with God."

Think about that for a minute. Anything can happen. Better yet, things can happen in whatever way God wants them to -- God, the Creator of all things, whose hands we cannot tie.

Oh, sure, God lets us tie the divine hands, at least for a little while. And God has created a universe that roils away in endless change, and some of that change is, for us, total disaster. It's these two features of God that cause us, quite often, to find serious fault with God: God lets evil things happen, and God lets us do evil things.

Maybe it's all just random, and we have absolutely no control.

Maybe it's all fixed, with the same net result -- we have no agency at all.

But I believe the reality of the universe is somewhere in the messy in-between. Here we find ourselves, self-aware creatures who are made by God and yet are not God, so we get to decide what to do. It's way too much responsibility. It's overwhelming, and we are not at all qualified to make decisions that affect the rest of the universe. Except that we are qualified, because God has made us qualified. And we can't help ourselves: we will and do affect the universe merely by existing.

And then, somewhere in the middle of all this mess, God has come among us, to be one of us, to experience truly what it means to be a created being.

I wrote yesterday that the specificity is the scandal. If God could only be with us as a human being for thirty short years, those thirty years had to be placed somewhere on the timeline, and somewhere on earth. Sometimes first-century Palestine doesn't feel like enough. Why couldn't Jesus be here, and now? Why couldn't Jesus be in the past as well, in other places on the globe? Instead we have no archaeological evidence, short of what later generations wrote about him and the buildings people put up in which to worship God through the worship of him. We have no photographs or video. We don't know the sound of his voice, or the cut of his beard, or the nature of his embrace.

Is that what matters?

What we know is that our Jewish ancestors met in Jesus a man who shocked their monotheistic sensibilities to the core. It was obvious to them that Jesus should be worshiped. But to worship a human being? And then they had these experiences after his death. He wasn't gone after all. He was with them in fleeting glimpses, and those glimpses often involved welcoming strangers and sharing food together.

May your Christmas dinner be such a table at which Jesus is experienced to be present, even if you only catch a glimpse. Watch for it. Let yourself be surprised by the presence of the one who is always present, appearing in flesh, appearing in the people -- not just family, but the most shocking strangers -- who are in flesh right next to you. Prepare a room for the one who made you, the one who is also preparing a room for you. Set the table for your dinner guest, the guest who is also both the host and the meal.

God is coming to be with us in all our specificity. If you don't look, you might miss God. Stay awake, watch, and love.

Monday, December 23, 2013

Advent, Day 23

For God alone my soul in silence waits; 
 from God comes my salvation.
God alone is my rock and my salvation, 

 my stronghold, so that I shall not be greatly shaken. - Psalm 62

At that time I will bring you home,
at the time when I gather you;
for I will make you renowned and praised
among all the peoples of the earth,
when I restore your fortunes
before your eyes, says the LORD. - Zephaniah 3


The stage is set.

What is the craziest belief we Christians share? I don't think it's the idea that God would come into the world as one of us. I think that's just a brilliant idea, so brilliant that, of course, God would come up with it. It's the kind of idea that, once thought of, seems like the most logical thing in the world.

No, I think the craziest idea is one we share with people of other religions as well, and with people of no religion.

It's the idea that God would and does intervene in our world at all.

It's easy to imagine that a vague, creative "force" created everything that exists. Very few people in the world don't believe that. Even people who call themselves atheists might admit to the philosophical necessity of a "prime mover," as the Greeks put it.

But what if that "prime mover" were not just The Force, described by Yoda as that which "binds the galaxy together"?

What if the "prime mover" were actually a person?

What if the very fact that we are self-aware is only possible -- is specifically true to our nature -- because the One who created us is also self-aware?

What if self-awareness is the entire project of the universe, and everything else in it is set in motion for the sake of our apprehending it with our senses?

We're already a step removed from pantheism, the idea that everything that exists is God. No, there seems to be separation here between that which is self-aware and that which is not, and between Creator and Created. And if that's the case, then the logic of the universe seems to be not just about grand, cosmic things, but also about specificity. God creates everything that is, and God creates or allows for creatures' awareness so that they can interact with the creation in a meaningful way. But there is a necessary separation there.

The story of the three monotheistic faiths -- Judaism, Christianity, and Islam -- is the story of that separation. It is portrayed -- and felt -- as a tragedy, a great breach in creation across which we are always trying to find our way back. The separation allows us to become more and more who we are, and that much is wonderful and necessary. But it still feels like we have a long journey home ahead of us.

The Christian solution is that we don't have to cross that breach, because we can't. Rather, God has come -- is coming -- is always coming -- across that gap, running at a dash, arms outstretched, to embrace us.

It's the most undignified behavior we might imagine for a great, glorious, Creator-deity.

Dealing with us earthlings so directly on this tiny, insignificant planet?

Calling a chosen people to be a blessing to all the others?

Becoming known in a special way through certain stories and writings?

Existing for thirty short years as a Palestinian Jew under the occupation of the Roman Empire?

Carrying on work in the world through an organization as relentlessly flawed as the Church, as driven by dissension and self-interest as the myriad churches?

Hearing my prayers, identifying with my concerns, appearing to me (just as to you) in ways that make God's presence a sure thing in my life?

And still being the creator of everything that is, was, and will be?


It's so ... specific.

It's a scandal.

Hallelujah.

Sunday, December 22, 2013

Advent, Day 22

"I will put enmity between you and the woman,
and between your offspring and hers;
he will strike your head,
and you will strike his heel." - Genesis 3


"The great dragon was thrown down, that ancient serpent, who is called the Devil and Satan, the deceiver of the whole world – he was thrown down to the earth, and his angels were thrown down with him." - Revelation 12

"Indeed, God did not send the Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him." - John 3:17

Today's readings bookend the Bible and also cut to the heart of it. The Genesis story of the expulsion of Adam and Eve from the garden is placed alongside a story of war breaking out in heaven, a shocking idea if ever there was one. And Jesus is held up in John's gospel as the savior of the world.

Even if I were not a Christian, I think I would find the Christian story absolutely thrilling. How can it be rivaled? God creates people. People decide to take on the responsibility of being God themselves. They mess it up, and the result is more and more separation from God. God calls them back again and again, but even when they listen, it's not for long. How can God reach them? God can become one of them. But when he does, they kill him. And then -- surprise! God transforms that death into the one thing that can save the world from this crippling separation from its creator. Effectively saved but still largely unaware of that fact, the world goes on, sometimes listening, sometimes not. The church works to reduce the separation from God, to call people back into that relationship. Evil, despite apparent victories all over the world, cannot now ever defeat good, and the stories tell of a time in the future when good will finally utterly defeat evil.

It would be easy to sit back and say, "Well, that's just a story." I don't fault anyone who does. And yes, in some ways, it is a story -- but never "just." Because it's not just a story for listening to. It's a story for placing ourselves within. It's a story for orienting us to our ultimate purpose in life, and for working that purpose out with each passing day and year of our lives. To place ourselves within the story requires vulnerability, humility, a willingness to be wrong, and a perpetual willingness to change. I have heard lots of stories, but none of them compares to this one. I have taken on this story as the story of my own life.

We tell the story every year, and oh, how I love to tell it. We are just about at that point in the story when God becomes one of us. It's a deep, deep mystery that we've been preparing for these several weeks. And we're almost there ... we're almost there ...

Saturday, December 21, 2013

Advent, Day 21

Caravaggio, The Incredulity of St. Thomas (1601-02)
The Feast of St. Thomas the Apostle

Today's readings for Morning Prayer, while not specifically about "Doubting Thomas," can all be related very easily to his story.

The psalms appointed for today are two of the psalms people most rely on for comfort in times of doubt and distress. The Old Testament reading is Job's response to God's appearing "out of the whirlwind" to put his doubts and fears into perspective. And the epistle reading from 1 Peter does its best to reassure those who are suffering of better times to come. (I'll print the readings at the end of this reflection.)

Today, God willing and the people of God consenting, I am to be ordained as a transitional deacon in the Episcopal Church, a step on the way toward ordination as a priest. I will commit myself to the trust and responsibility of the life and work of a deacon. I will agree to be guided by the pastoral direction and leadership of my bishop. I will vow to be faithful in prayer, and in the reading and study of the Bible. I will promise to look for Christ in all others, to be ready to serve those in need, to pattern my life after Christ, and in all things to seek not my own glory but God's.

These are some weighty promises. But even as I write about me today, it is not ultimately about me. I am one of the many millions of baptized Christians, and it seems to me and to a good many others that God is calling me to serve in a certain away. I will do my best to do just that.

I love "Doubting Thomas" -- or, as he might be better called, "Believing Thomas." He didn't begin there, but he got there, and that's what counts. In the same way, ordination did not come quickly to me, and since I served for seven years as a layperson at a parish called St. Thomas, I find it especially appropriate to be ordained on his feast day. And so all these readings will be on my heart today, and the other four friends to be ordained with me will also be in my prayers. If you happen to read this, I would appreciate your prayers as well -- even if you happen to read this long after the day. Maybe prayers even work retroactively. Who am I to doubt it?

--

Psalm 23

The LORD is my shepherd;
I shall not be in want.
You make me lie down in green pastures
and lead me beside still waters.
You revive my soul
and guide me along right pathways for your Name’s sake.
Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I shall fear no evil;
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
You spread a table before me in the presence of those who trouble me;
you have anointed my head with oil,
and my cup is running over.
Surely your goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.

Psalm 121

I lift up my eyes to the hills;
from where is my help to come?
My help comes from the LORD,
the maker of heaven and earth.
The LORD will not let your foot be moved
and the One who watches over you will not fall asleep.
Behold, the One who keeps watch over Israel
shall neither slumber nor sleep;
It is the LORD who watches over you;
the LORD is your shade at your right hand,
So that the sun shall not strike you by day,
nor the moon by night.
The LORD shall preserve you from all evil;
the LORD shall keep you safe.
The LORD shall watch over your going out and your coming in,
from this time forth for evermore.

--

Job 42:1-6

Then Job answered the Lord:
“I know that you can do all things,
and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted.
‘Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge?’
Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand,
things too wonderful for me, which I did not know.
‘Hear, and I will speak;
I will question you, and you declare to me.’
I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear,
but now my eye sees you;
therefore I despise myself,
and repent in dust and ashes.”

--

1 Peter 1:3-9

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! By his great mercy he has given us a new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who are being protected by the power of God through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.

In this you rejoice, even if now for a little while you have had to suffer various trials, so that the genuineness of your faith – being more precious than gold that, though perishable, is tested by fire – may be found to result in praise and glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Although you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and rejoice with an indescribable and glorious joy, for you are receiving the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

Friday, December 20, 2013

Advent, Day 20

Thus says the LORD: I will return to Zion, and will dwell in the midst of Jerusalem; Jerusalem shall be called the faithful city, and the mountain of the LORD of hosts shall be called the holy mountain. Thus says the LORD of hosts: Old men and old women shall again sit in the streets of Jerusalem, each with staff in hand because of their great age. And the streets of the city shall be full of boys and girls playing in its streets. Thus says the LORD of hosts: Even though it seems impossible to the remnant of this people in these days, should it also seem impossible to me, says the LORD of hosts? Thus says the LORD of hosts: I will save my people from the east country and from the west country; and I will bring them to live in Jerusalem. They shall be my people and I will be their God, in faithfulness and in righteousness. - Zechariah 8
In Uganda, being gay is now a crime punishable
by life in prison. Pray for the gay citizens
of Uganda, and for a change in the law.
(Photo: BBC, Reuters)

It seems impossible. Growth where there has been destruction? Success where there has been failure? Good where there has been evil? Something coming out of nothing?

It seems impossible. A job falls apart. A marriage falls apart. A nation falls apart. If God is good, what role can God possibly play in this situation?

Yet God mourns with us. God suffers loss with us. Even impossibility is no barrier to God's grace.

The words are nice, but in the moment, they can be of little comfort.

In South Sudan, political infighting has spiraled into
violence that threatens civil war. Pray for the citizens
of South Sudan. (Photo: BBC, Reuters)
And that is where we come in. We must pray for the needs of the world. Will our prayers change anything? Absolutely.


If we don't pray, how will we sustain our relationship with God? There is no human relationship without communication, and communication involves some amount of caring work and occasional sacrifices of our own immediate desires. Why should it be any different with God?

If we don't pray, how will we come to understand how much we care? If I don't pray for the needs of the world, I may well just forget the needs of the world.

People die in accidents all the time. When it happens at
the holidays, the trauma can be especially difficult on family
and friends. Pray for those whose lives are affected by
tragedy this holiday season. (Photo from MSNBC, Laura Seitz,
Deseret News, AP)
If we don't pray, how will anyone ever make a difference? Do we expect God to swoop in and do everything for us? Yet God calls us to do good work in the world, not because it's necessary for salvation (it's not), but because that's just what saved people do.

And so Zechariah gives us God's words: "Even though it seems impossible to the remnant of this people in these days, should it also seem impossible to me, says the LORD of hosts?" Today, let's listen for God's voice, let's watch for God at work, and then let's go join in that work with comfort and joy.


Thursday, December 19, 2013

Advent, Day 19

The angel who talked with me came again, and wakened me, as one is wakened from sleep. He said to me, “What do you see?” And I said, “I see a lampstand all of gold, with a bowl on the top of it; there are seven lamps on it, with seven lips on each of the lamps that are on the top of it. And by it there are two olive trees, one on the right of the bowl and the other on its left.” I said to the angel who talked with me, “What are these, my lord?” Then the angel who talked with me answered me, “Do you not know what these are?” I said, “No, my lord.” He said to me, “This is the word of the LORD to Zerubbabel: Not by might, nor by power, but by my spirit, says the LORD of hosts. What are you, O great mountain? Before Zerubbabel you shall become a plain; and he shall bring out the top stone amid shouts of ‘Grace, grace to it!’” - Zechariah 4

Not by might, nor by power, but by the spirit of God.

We don't want it to be this way. We want to achieve our ends by might and power. For that matter, we want God to achieve God's ends by might and by power.

We keep falling into this trap. We think that having the biggest and most well trained military will protect our country, but when we fail to work for justice around the globe, we undermine our own cause. We begin to believe that peace through strength works, rather than peace through vulnerability.

In our own lives, too, we fall into this trap. We shore up our lives with money and success, the might and power of American individuals. Some people lock themselves away in gated communities, succumbing to fear of those who are unable to get in. Some of us make job security our god, seeking a paid position in which as few people as possible can change our fate, rather than a position that does the most good for others.

We all do this. Deep down, we really believe that might and power are the way to go in this world. In the short-term, that may be absolutely correct.

But we worship a God who always has the long-term in mind as well. God could come down and knock heads together anytime. Some people still believe that God will do exactly that one day.

But how did God come to be among us the first time? As a helpless baby.

Would God come again in a way that contradicts this first way?

From http://www.littleanswer.com/
why-people-are-right-handed-and-left-handed.htm
Author Robert Farrar Capon calls God's power "left-handed power," as opposed to the "right-handed power" of "might makes right." What makes God's use of left-handed power most astounding is that God, by virtue of being the creator of the universe, doesn't have to work that way. But God chooses to abdicate the power of force in order to have a relationship with us.

And that baby, Jesus, grew up and showed us that we must do the same, because love -- not force -- is the only thing that works in the end.

Even if it kills us.

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Advent, Day 18

Then he showed me the high priest Joshua standing before the angel of the LORD, and Satan standing at his right hand to accuse him. And the LORD said to Satan, “The LORD rebuke you, O Satan! The LORD who has chosen Jerusalem rebuke you! Is not this man a brand plucked from the fire?” Now Joshua was dressed with filthy clothes as he stood before the angel. The angel said to those who were standing before him, “Take off his filthy clothes.” And to him he said, “See, I have taken your guilt away from you, and I will clothe you with festal apparel.” And I said, “Let them put a clean turban on his head.” So they put a clean turban on his head and clothed him with the apparel; and the angel of the LORD was standing by. Then the angel of the LORD assured Joshua, saying, “Thus says the LORD of hosts: If you will walk in my ways and keep my requirements, then you shall rule my house and have charge of my courts, and I will give you the right of access among those who are standing here.

“Now listen, Joshua, high priest, you and your colleagues who sit before you! For they are an omen of things to come: I am going to bring my servant the Branch. For on the stone that I have set before Joshua, on a single stone with seven facets, I will engrave its inscription, says the LORD of hosts, and I will remove the guilt of this land in a single day. On that day, says the LORD of hosts, you shall invite each other to come under your vine and fig tree. - Zechariah 3

According to the New Oxford Annotated Bible, "The book of Zechariah is the longest and most obscure of the Minor Prophets."* No kidding! This isn't a very well known reading from the Bible, but that's a shame. It has all sorts of interesting imagery in it.

This Joshua, first of all, is not the same as the Joshua who "fit de battle of Jericho," but is rather a high priest of the temple at the time of its rebuilding following the Babylonian Exile. Here Joshua represents the holy tradition of Israel, being renewed and prepared for a celebration.

We also have Satan in this passage, but he's not yet the "big bad" we think of today. At this point in Jewish history, Satan was still a member of God's court, a trickster and a prosecuting attorney. The Hebrew word  "Satan" means "adversary." Still, Satan is about to be disappointed, because he's losing his court case. God, the ultimate judge, changes the accused Joshua out of his filthy clothes and dresses him for a party.

Yet still, the terms on which Joshua will continue in God's good graces are conditional: "if you will walk in my ways and keep my requirements." This is all God has ever asked, but the people have shown time and time again their inability to do even this much. It is the human condition: no matter how much we want to follow God's ways, we fail. We always fail.

But get ready. Here comes the Branch -- a reference to the "Root of Jesse," the royal descendant of David. The Branch will grow into a flowing vine to produce grapes for wine, or into a sturdy fig tree to produce fruit ... fruit worthy of repentance. And God will remove all our guilt in a single day.

--

* Gregory Mobley, "Zechariah," in the New Oxford Annotated Bible (New York: Oxford University Press, 2007), 1357.

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Advent, Day 17

I looked up and saw a man with a measuring line in his hand. Then I asked, “Where are you going?” He answered me, “To measure Jerusalem, to see what is its width and what is its length.” Then the angel who talked with me came forward, and another angel came forward to meet him, and said to him, “Run, say to that young man: Jerusalem shall be inhabited like villages without walls, because of the multitude of people and animals in it. For I will be a wall of fire all around it, says the LORD, and I will be the glory within it.” - Zechariah 2

There's a new ministry in my diocese which I admire very much, called Outside Church Walls. These folks are exploring what it means to get outside the expected environment of the church and to befriend the world around us. They're going out and having conversations that get beneath the surface, beyond the small talk. They operate under the principle that the church cannot be an island unto itself.

Is church to be found here somewhere?
Lately I've been doing something similar. As an assignment for class, we had to pick a neighborhood, meet random young adults, and interview them on what they think about life. We tried to learn the art of listening beneath the surface to get at people's deepest longings and motivations. Once we got over our initial fear of approaching people in coffee shops and malls, we found that many will open right up and talk for a long, long time. We met a young man who drives children in the "holiday train" through the mall, but who is also an apprentice to an electrician and really wants to be a professional musician. We met a young Roman Catholic woman and her atheist friend from Montana, who love each other deeply while respecting each other's religious differences. We met a young mom who has her BA but is stuck in a dead-end job and relies on her parents to help her make ends meet.

The prophet Zechariah tells us that "Jerusalem shall be inhabited like villages without walls." In ancient days, the big cities had walls in order to protect them from invaders. I'm afraid that many of our churches have wound up like that, too. We put up walls to protect ourselves from the experience of the Other -- the one whose experience of life seems to contradict our own, or at least to make us very uncomfortable. Just yesterday a friend of mine was talking about the hard time her church gives her because of her divorce: she's even having a hard time getting her son into a religious school for that reason. What is this school so afraid of?

But if we in the churches tore down our walls, maybe we would find many people coming to us not only to be changed by us, but also to change us. Maybe our churches could become fuller expressions of people's deepest longings. And maybe the Holy Spirit would be in that work, delighting in it, transforming people's lives. Maybe by allowing our walls to be torn down, we'll find that the Holy Spirit was at work all along, but the work was happening in coffee shops and malls, rather than in the pews. Maybe we'd find that the baby isn't born in the society-approved inn, but in the stable out back.