Thursday, June 26, 2014

Catching up on photos

Since we're going west, we have the benefit of gaining an hour of travel every time we cross a time zone line. Unfortunately, this also means we all crash early, and I wake up at 5:00 in the morning! This does, however, prove to be a good time to blog.

When we first moved into our Braddock Lee apartment in 2011, Sarah got very excited about her huge, empty room:


When we emptied the room again on Monday, she got very excited again (though I'll admit, I had to remind her of the event three years previous so we could stage this rather blurry shot):


Here's the hotel where we stayed in Pittsburgh. It was a strange combination of attempted opulence and inconvenient construction:


In Toledo, where we stopped for lunch, somebody had done some very considerate knitting to keep this parking meter warm:


While in Chicago, we're staying in the rectory on an upper floor of the building of the Church of St. Chrysostom:


We're very happy to be here with friends, and to be seeing more of Chicago today!


Wednesday, June 25, 2014

My kinda town, Chicago is

Beginning today, each day of our return trip will contain more driving than any one day of our trip out to seminary three years ago. We’re going more directly, but in three fewer days. Today we left Pittsburgh at 8:00 a.m. and then got stuck in Chicago’s afternoon rush hour for a bit. All in all, we made great time.

We’ve been looking forward to this day greatly, as we get to stay at the home of our friends the Smedleys. They have three little girls for Sarah to play with. Tomorrow we will hit Chicago’s Museum of Science and Industry, staying one extra night in Chicago before moving on. And we’ll have dinner tomorrow night with old friends.


Too tired tonight to write more.

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Pittsbugh, PA ...

When I was in high school, I used to carry around a Pittsburgh Steelers duffel bag. The only reason was that it was black and gold, the same colors as my high school -- and my high school didn't have any swag of its own.

This is the most useless item of trivia you can imagine about me, but it is my only connection to Pittsburgh heretofore.

So here we are in Pittsburgh, our first night on the road. The move this morning took three hours longer than we'd hoped, but it wasn't a total surprise. We had crammed a lot of things into that little apartment, and it came to over 150 boxes, many of them containing textbooks. The two guys we hired to help move, Ali and Chris, were very good at what they did. But the heat and the long walk from our door to the parking lot made this rather an excruciating move for them, I'm afraid. We treated them to lunch.

At 3:00 we checked out of Braddock Lee and were on our way. We made pretty good time, pulling into Pittsburgh around 7:30. But the Pennsylvania Turnpike was marked by a harrowing series of heavy showers, lots of big trucks, and billboards proclaiming that anyone who doesn't support the coal industry is a radical from Hollywood (along the lines of Yoko Ono and Lady Gaga) who shouldn't be trusted. (Besides, it's not always windy, and the sun goes down, so how can wind or solar energy be the least bit reliable? Glad to see the coal industry is teaching such solid science in support of its cause ... erm ...)

We're too tired to sort through photos tonight, but I'll try to post some tomorrow. We're struck by the many heartfelt goodbyes we have received today via email and Facebook. We have so many wonderful friends who have shared this journey with us. We are praying for you on your journeys, too.


Sunday, June 22, 2014

Praying My Facebook News Feed

Do you freely admit that you spend time on social media compulsively? After you’ve checked your Facebook notifications, and after you’ve resisted the bait (or not) in a heated political debate, do you begin looking down your news feed at every single item you haven’t seen before?

I have noticed that I have this problem. It’s as if something will go wrong in the universe if I don’t keep up with absolutely everything that all my friends are doing today. On the one hand, this means that I know a lot of what people are going through. But that urge to know everything means that I’m paying a lot less attention to each thing. I may notice that your dog is dying, but if I have never known you all that well, I probably won’t let that fact touch me too deeply. If your child got into that great university, I may silently rejoice for a split second, but if you’re not one of my best friends, I’ll probably just “Like” it and move on. That’s not a very personal connection.

So today I tried something new. I said, “I will pray intentionally regarding the first ten items on my news feed this morning. And then I will stop and go do something else.” Here is what I found.

1) One of my classmates was ordained to the priesthood and then immediately married another of my classmates. There are photos of a number of our mutual classmates at the wedding—Instagrammed black-and-white photos of people I love all having a wonderful time together. I am jealous and wish I could be there. Prayer: O God, please bless and keep them all the days of their lives, in their ministry in the church, and in their love for one another. May this weekend be a time of happy memories for all these dear friends, always. Amen.

2) A friend from back home spent the day at another occasion I wish I could have attended: a day-long
meeting on youth ministry in my home diocese. There I am, getting jealous again! Prayer: O God, bless these friends in their work. But please also take my jealousy and turn it into joy at the ways we welcome youth in the church and help them “to grow into the full stature of Christ.” Amen.

3) An old friend I will see soon changed her profile picture. She looks happy, and 39 people “Like” it. Prayer: So do I. May she be truly happy, and thank you for the opportunity to see her and other old friends again soon. Amen.

4) A friend wrote “feeling awesome” at her ability to transpose into another key, and then to play another tune without even looking at her hands. I’m not sure what instrument she has taken up today, but I do know she plays the bagpipes. Prayer: I, too, love the thrill of having enough music theory in my head to play a tune without a sheet of music and without any rehearsal. It’s a blessed feeling, and God bless those who share it! Amen.

5) A shared meme: “If you walk a mile in my shoes, you’ll end up at the bar.” Prayer: Um … what should I pray for here? Ah, yes. Thank you, God, for the gift of humor in its many varieties. Amen.

6) A review of two new books. I must admit that sometimes I breeze through long articles without much thought. At my absolute worst, I glance at who “Likes” it and ask myself whether the article upholds my current beliefs, and then I may even “Like” it without reading it. I will not do this today. I will read the whole thing, and then say prayer #6. Here goes … wow! This is a very heady article, the likes of which I haven’t read since I graduated from seminary a month ago. But its aim is to move beyond the head and to engage the heart. My favorite quote: “Liberalism’s admirable recognition of the unique value of each individual has had the effect of creating a society composed of gilded birds trapped in iron cages.” But the article is extremely long and difficult. I finish it, but whew! I hope the next four prayers take a little less time: Prayer: May I never lose the desire, may I never squander the time, to engage my intellect deeply and thoroughly. Amen.

7) Another person went to that same youth ministry meeting. But she writes, “Home sick from …” Does that mean she went home sick? Or does that mean that she feels “homesick” at having to leave an event that feels so much like “home”? I’m guessing it’s the former, as do those who comment to wish her well. Prayer: May she feel better soon. But another prayer in light of my potential misunderstanding: May the work in which I engage make me truly “homesick” for the Kingdom! Amen.

8) More of those wonderful wedding photos, from another classmate. Dang, I wish I could have been there: Another prayer for the happy couple, and for all my friends who attended. Amen.

9) A reflection from a classmate on a road trip with a friend. Prayer: Bless their friendship, which I saw blossom in seminary. May my upcoming road trip with my family also be blessed. Amen.

10) Family photos from a summer solstice party in a park, with a ceremony of renewal of wedding vows for a couple they know. I don’t know most of the people involved. Prayer: O God, bless this couple in their marriage, whoever they are. Prosper the work of our hands, and consecrate our leisure time as well. Amen.

And so I stop. I close the window, say a brief closing prayer, and move on with my day. I don't even comment on these ten items, at least not this time. There is a lot I have missed, but it is not mine to know today. All our lives are held in God’s hands, and prayer connects us one to another through God. Amen.


Sunday, May 18, 2014

Preparing a Room


sermon preached at Church of the Ascension, Silver Spring, MD
by the Rev. Josh Hosler, Deacon, Seminarian
The Fifth Sunday of Easter, May 18, 2014


This sermon began as a newsletter article way back in 2005. I've always liked it, so I'm glad this week's lectionary gave me the opportunity to dust it off and add to it.

This was also my final sermon as a seminarian. I am incredibly grateful to the community of Church of the Ascension for giving me a space to grow over the past two years. Keep doing that Kingdom work of hospitality and joy that you already do so well.


Nine years ago, when our daughter Sarah was on the way, my wife Christy and I converted one room in our house into a nursery. It had been the guest room and the library. It had been our place for stowing things we planned to deal with later. It had contained all the remnants of our respective college dorm rooms. Perhaps most importantly, it had been the place where one cat could sleep while the other slept in our room.

We gave away the guest bed. We sold several boxes of books, put others in the attic, and moved two bookshelves into other parts of the house. We finally figured out what to do with our old computer. We lovingly rolled up the Pink Floyd and Rocky & Bullwinkle posters, and we also put away the college pennants, the fraternity composites, and the prints purchased in Paris on European Quarter. While our older cat Epitome continued sleeping on our bed, young Henry grudgingly moved to the living room sofa.

Once the room was empty, we pried the molding off the walls, only splitting a couple pieces of wood in the process. We sponged, spackled, sanded, and then picked up primer and paint. As we prepared the room for a new arrival, I imagined it to be similar work to the kind Jesus is doing.

In today’s gospel reading, Jesus tells his friends, “In my Father's house there are many dwelling places. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you?” It used to be that when I heard about Jesus preparing a room for us, I imagined Jesus putting sheets on the bed, or maybe opening the windows to let the room air out a bit. Well, I do appreciate those finishing touches. But now I imagine Jesus prying nails out of old boards, replacing the boards that have split, filling in holes with spackle, putting on an old T-shirt and dragging out the rollers, brushes, and trays. And I hope Jesus isn’t doing the work alone; it’s more fun with two people, chatting away and blasting loud music from the living room. So maybe Stephen, the first Christian martyr, is helping Jesus.

Stephen’s death is one of those readings that comes up every now and then to which it’s a little difficult to answer, “Thanks be to God”! In the course of that story, we hear that in attendance was a young man named Saul, and that Saul held the coats of those who murdered Stephen. This is foreshadowing, for Saul went on to have an incredible conversion experience, going from persecuting and arresting Christians to spreading the gospel to Jews and Gentiles all around the Mediterranean. Saul became the Apostle Paul.

And so, in the martyrdom of Stephen, we have a link from Jesus to Paul. I wonder whether, after his conversion, Paul thought back to the way Stephen died. I wonder whether he thought, “When my time comes, I pray that I will be just as forgiving as Stephen! May I just as willingly commend my spirit into God’s hands.” We believe that Paul was martyred in Rome by Emperor Nero. Peter was also martyred, and James and John, and many others. In becoming followers of Jesus, they faced death head on—just as Jesus had. And there are Christians dying for the faith to this very day.

Yet it’s not just the martyrs who commend their spirits into God’s hands. Jesus tells his disciples, “You know the way to the place where I am going.” I think he means, “Believe in me,” and he also means, “Follow me,” yes. But the way of Jesus is the way of death—and this is a way that none of us can possibly avoid. All of us will follow in the way of Jesus because we have no other choice. In dying and rising to new life, Jesus took the one experience that all people have in common and transformed it into the gateway to life. In our burial rite, we express this confidence: “Even at the grave, we make our song: Alleluia, alleluia, alleluia.” And as we say together in one of our Eucharistic prayers: “Dying, you destroyed our death. Rising, you restored our life. Christ Jesus, come in glory!”

For Jesus also promises, “I will come again and will take you to myself, so that where I am, there you may be also.” I have no idea what this means in any scientifically verifiable sense. Some people believe Jesus will appear to everybody in the world, all at once, at the end of all things. Others believe that Jesus comes to us at each of our individual deaths, to lead us onward into new adventures.

But it’s not just about our mortal deaths. Stephen didn’t become a martyr by sitting back and doing nothing. His job was to make sure that orphans and widows had enough to eat. And, indeed, challenging the unjust structures in society that perpetuate suffering is enough to get one killed in many times and places. But the point is that Stephen didn’t just give his death to Jesus—he also gave his life. So did Paul, who would later write to the church in Rome: “Whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s.”

Our baptismal covenant asserts not just that we believe in God, but that we belong to God. Jesus says that those who believe in him will not only believe, but will also do miraculous works greater than his own, because Jesus has gone to the Father. Sure enough, after Jesus ascended into heaven, the Holy Spirit came to empower the apostles for ministry throughout the world. So belief in Jesus leads naturally to imitation of him. What can we do this very week in imitation of Jesus?

Let’s go back to the nursery for a minute. After the newly painted walls had dried, Christy’s sister designed and painted an alphabet mural for her future niece, so that from her first days, she could be led toward a love of reading. What sort of collage is Jesus painting on the wall in your room? It’s probably something he would like you to learn, rather than something you already know well. It probably speaks of the very work Jesus is calling you into today. Change is coming to your life, and it is happening already, and out of that change will come new opportunities to love others as Jesus loves us.

As we prepared our daughter’s room, the cats reacted strongly. The older cat, Epitome, had moved a few times and knew the signs. When we start taping up boxes and moving large furniture, that spells trouble! Henry had only moved once before and was very confused. Not only had he lost his place to sleep, but we also seemed to be spending all our time in a room we used to leave quiet. One night, Epitome was meowing loudly, and I figured out what she wanted. I led her into the empty room and sat with her on the floor for awhile, just looking around the room and speaking softly. Before long, Henry joined us. I think they were reassured that I was aware of the chaos, and although cats never enjoy change, they weathered the storm just fine.

We don’t like change either. It seems strange that creatures fated to change at every moment would be uncomfortable with the concept. But God is actively building the Body of Christ, and that makes us profoundly uncomfortable. When we feel like the world is crashing down around our heads, we can go to God the way Epitome came to me. We can complain in prayer with loud “meows.” And God will come into our room and be with us, not making the change stop, but letting us know that change is ultimately good and that God is guiding the process, no matter how uncomfortable or even painful it becomes.

Jesus went ahead of us to prepare our room in God’s Kingdom. Stephen and Paul and millions of others have followed, and our turn will come … and has come. For the Kingdom of God is not just beyond the grave, but also here among us today. Our room in the Kingdom is still being prepared, but we also live in the chaos of it right now, and the miraculous works we do in Christ’s name reveal it for others to see. To ask for something in Jesus’ name is to act out of love for the sake of others, and Jesus will grant every such a request in his own way. The paint isn’t even out of the can yet, but we can feel that the work is well under way. It’s inconvenient and messy, and sometimes we hate it. But from Jesus’ perspective, we are babies in the womb, kicking against ribs and bladder, not yet able to imagine all the wonders to come. Amen.

Friday, April 18, 2014

Serving

homily preached at Church of the Ascension, Silver Spring, MD
by the Rev. Josh Hosler, Deacon, Seminarian
Maundy Thursday, April 17, 2014

On the day I was ordained as a deacon, my bishop gave me a dishtowel. He gave one to each of the five of us being ordained that day, and they all came straight from a drawer in his kitchen. I wondered whether my bishop’s family gets a little annoyed at having to replace so many dishtowels every time he ordains new deacons.

So why is a dishtowel a fitting gift for a deacon? The role of a deacon is to serve the church. The first deacons were ordained right at the beginning, when the Christian church had swelled to hundreds or maybe thousands of people, and there weren’t enough apostles to go around. The Greek Christians complained that the Jewish Christians were getting more daily food than they were. Whether or not this was true, the perception was that resources were not being distributed equitably.

So the apostles said, “It is not right that we should neglect the word of God in order to wait on tables.” [Yes, it really says that! Go read the sixth chapter of Acts.] “Therefore, friends, select from among yourselves seven men of good standing, full of the Spirit and of wisdom, whom we may appoint to this task, while we, for our part, will devote ourselves to prayer and to serving the word.” So those who serve the piping hot word came to be known as bishops, and many years later, they appointed priests to assist them. Meanwhile, those who waited tables—that is, those who made sure that widows and orphans did not starve—came to be called deacons. And so I drape a dishtowel over my arm, because as a deacon, I am here to serve you.

But is it only deacons who serve the church? If so, we’d be a pretty overworked bunch. No, we all serve the church and the world, and we have Jesus as our example. John’s gospel doesn’t contain the story of Jesus breaking bread in the upper room—perhaps in John’s little community of early Christians, that just went without saying. Instead of the Last Supper, John tells us that Jesus took off his outer garment, presumably so it wouldn’t get wet. He tied a towel around himself. And then he shocked the disciples by washing their feet. Jesus came among us “not to be served, but to serve” (Mark 10:45)—and he instructed us to do the same.

And so, tonight, we will wash one another’s feet and dry them with towels. We’re not just waiting tables here; we’re doing something far more intimate than that. I remember last year having a Facebook conversation with various friends about foot washing. We wondered together, “What is a parallel to foot washing in our present day?” After all, we no longer live in a world where when you go to someone’s house, that person has servants whose job is to wash your dusty, tired feet. So we tried to imagine some contemporary possibilities.

For instance, who shines your shoes? Well, probably you—if anybody at all. Personally, I don’t have any experience shining shoes or even having them shined! Who washes your car? Probably either you—in your driveway with an environmentally friendly soap, of course—or a machine. And the same goes for dishes and laundry. Not much luck there.

Who cleans your bathroom? You probably do, or at least, I hope you clean your bathroom at least as often as I get around to cleaning mine. However, we could probably observe a lot about class structure in America by asking, “Do you only clean your own bathroom, or do you also clean someone else’s, either at your workplace or in another person’s home? Or, perhaps, do you never even clean your own bathroom because one of these other people does it for you?” So we are getting closer here to touching on the assumptions about social class that Jesus was so intentionally subverting.

Who picks up your garbage and recycling? OK, it’s a little smelly, but it’s not personal like foot washing. Consider yourself lucky if you ever see the people who take your garbage away, let alone get to know them. And if you are one of those people who take my garbage away, thank you. Thank you so much.

Who gives you a mani-pedi? We’re getting still closer, because at least this one is somewhat intimate. But I, for one, have never had one. And we certainly don’t expect to have servants doing this for free.
In the end, my group of friends concluded that there is no modern parallel for the foot washing done in Jesus’ time. And that is why we still wash one another’s feet. Some people won’t feel ready to be that intimate, so they won’t come up and do it. And that’s OK—you’re in good company with Peter, who refused such a shocking turnabout of events until Jesus threatened to take the intimacy of their friendship away entirely. So keep working towards it, and spend some time wondering: “Where are the moments of real intimacy in my life? And how widely do I make my caring known to those around me, in my family, in my circle of friends, in my community, and in the world?”

Today is Maundy Thursday, and “Maundy” comes from the Latin word “mandatum”—command. Tonight Jesus commands us to love one another, and as his primary example of that kind of loving intimacy, he washes the feet of his friends in place of the servants. “Having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end.”

There’s a great old camp song you might know. If you do know it, please sing along:

We are one in the Spirit, we are one in the Lord/
We are one in the Spirit, we are one in the Lord/
And we pray that all unity may one day be restored/
And they’ll know we are Christians by our love, by our love/
Yes, they’ll know we are Christians by our love.


Can we make this song true? Can we serve the people around us with such reckless abandon that the people will begin to wonder about the One who inspires us to such love? Can we get to know those we serve so intimately that we might as well be washing their feet?

As we move through this sacred three days, from the dinner to the garden to the arrest to the cross to the tomb, let’s ponder our role as servants, not just to each other, but to the world. How will Church of the Ascension serve the community, not just financially, but intimately? And how will you intimately serve the world? Amen.

Sunday, April 13, 2014

The Other Jesus

sermon preached at Church of the Ascension, Silver Spring, MD
by the Rev. Josh Hosler, Deacon, Seminarian
The Sunday of the Passion: Palm Sunday, April 13, 2014

Now the chief priests and elders persuaded the crowds to ask for Barabbas and to have Jesus killed. The governor again said to them, “Which of the two do you want me to release for you?’ And they said, “Barabbas.” Pilate said to them “Then what should I do with Jesus who is called the Messiah?” All of them said, “Let him be crucified!” Then he asked, “Why? What evil has he done?” But they shouted all the more, “Let him be crucified!”

So when Pilate saw that he could do nothing, but rather that a riot was beginning, he took some water and washed his hands before the crowd, saying, “I am innocent of this man’s blood. See to it yourselves.” Then the people as a whole answered, “His blood be on us and on our children.” So he released Barabbas for them; and after flogging Jesus, he handed him over to be crucified. – Matthew 27:20-25


Portrait of Barabbas
by James Tissot (1836–1902)
(courtesy of Wikipedia)
Jesus Barabbas. Who was this other Jesus, this Jesus Barabbas? He appears in all four gospels, and he is called alternately a bandit, an insurrectionist, and a murderer. He was in prison for an earlier revolt in Jerusalem, during which time he had killed Romans. Perhaps Barabbas was a charismatic leader of the Zealots, the faction of Jews who advocated for the violent overthrow of Roman rule in Judea. If there had been freedom of expression in that culture, we might imagine young people marching around the city with signs reading, “Free Barabbas.” I imagine that Barabbas was charismatic, tough, and not afraid of making hard decisions … just our kind of leader. “We need Barabbas!” cried the crowds. “Give him to us!”

So Barabbas sat in prison, knowing that all his efforts had failed. And then, all of a sudden, he was free. He stumbled, blinking, into the light, the rough hands of the Roman soldiers shoving him towards the exit. They mumbled, “Get out, you worthless scum. That fool Jesus of Nazareth is going to the cross instead of you! But if you try anything, you’ll really get it next time.”

And so Barabbas was saved. Glory of glories! Jesus of Nazareth stood as a substitute, the atoning sacrifice for Barabbas. Barabbas was saved … literally. Jesus died for Barabbas’s sins … literally. The crowd wanted their beloved Barabbas back, and they got him. No doubt they expected Barabbas to get back to organizing the cause.

The world hasn’t changed much, has it? We know how this story goes. If only one man can be spared, give us the one whose methods we understand. Give us strength and power. Give us military might. These Romans only understand war, so we must rise to the challenge. We love to cling to our conviction that we must always fight fire with fire.

For us, Barabbas can represent the default ways of our own culture. When we are attacked, we must retaliate. If we don’t know who attacked us, we’ll attack people who look like them. We must reduce our enemies to rubble. We must make the world conform to our expectations right now, for fear that there will never be any other time or any other way to get what we want. What’s more, we really believe that our violence will prevent future violence. And if there are unintended side effects, well, you have to break a few eggs, right? Sure, we’ll take that responsibility. So crucify this man, with his nonsense about turning the other cheek! Crucify this fool who prays for his enemies! We can live with his blood. His blood be on us … and on our children.

Meanwhile, Jesus Barabbas walked free. How did he feel about this man, this other Jesus, this innocent man whom he never met? Did Barabbas rejoice at his own salvation? Did his previous acts of murder look different to him in the blinding light outside the prison cell? And did he watch as the soldiers led this other man, this other Jesus, towards the cross?

Sunday, March 30, 2014

Blind Spots



sermon preached at Church of the Ascension, Silver Spring, MD
by the Rev. Josh Hosler, Deacon, Seminarian
The Fourth Sunday in Lent, Year A/ March 30, 2014

Some of the most difficult and important moments of my life have been the times when I have been called up short. I might describe these as moments in which I realized I had a blind spot. It has happened in moments when it became clear that I was being careless with another person’s feelings, or letting my critical voice dominate, or assuming too much, or giving off vibes of entitlement. Moments like these have given me new eyes to see what others see in me and in themselves. These moments have made me feel guilty, but they have also revealed God’s presence in my life. Every time I discover a blind spot, I learn yet again that I am a sinner and that I am in need of healing.

Occasionally, I have heard people say that the Episcopal Church is “soft on sin.” That is, some Christians think we don’t take sin seriously enough—as if we thought it didn’t really exist, or at least that it had minimal consequences. In our defense, I think we have earned this reputation by being both polite and compassionate. We know that we all sin, not only accidentally but also intentionally. So we want to be gentle with people who also have this problem. We don’t want to appear judgmental, because we take Jesus’ words to heart: “Judge not, so that you will not be judged yourselves” (Luke 6:37).

But it is not judgmental to talk about sin, or to commiserate about the fact that sin is a real problem for every one of us. Sin can refer to individual wrong acts, or to our seemingly perpetual state of separation from God. Sin carries consequences, both in our lives and in our relationship with God: it increases the distance we perceive between us and our source. We cannot overcome this distance ourselves. But luckily, our salvation does not depend on whether or not we sin. We can repent of our mistakes and strive to do better next time. And here’s the really good news: the solution to sin is not punishment, but healing. This is the situation we find in today’s gospel.

“Who sinned, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind?” Now, unfortunately, this is a question that we humans still have not stopped asking. I think it has to do with our urge for control in a world that all too often feels out of control. We want to believe that everything happens for a reason. It may be a comforting thought, but I’m not convinced that everything happens for a reason—at least, not for any reason we could ever wrap our minds around. Did the Malaysian jet go missing for a reason? Did the mudslide in Washington State swallow up dozens of people for a reason? On the other hand, if these things happened for no reason at all, then doesn’t that feel pretty hopeless? Dare we believe that the universe is just a bunch of stuff that happens?

Luckily, Jesus doesn’t allow us to fall into either desolate extreme. He gives an explanation for the man’s blindness, but it’s not the one anyone was expecting: “So that God’s works might be revealed in him.” Now, I’m not sure that God said, “I think I’ll make this baby boy blind, so that Jesus can give him sight decades from now.” That would just be cruel. But whether or not blindness represented any sort of plan for this man’s life, Jesus did heal the man. And two thousand years later, we continue to learn from the experience.

The people who know the man are completely flummoxed by this event, and they bring him before the Pharisees. Whatever just happened, it must have happened for a reason. So what is the reason? You can see the Pharisees’ overly logical minds whirring, trying to take it all in, and returning the same answer over and over: “Does not compute.” Their theological truck is stuck in the mud, and all they know how to do is grind it further down. By refusing to see that a blind man sees, the sighted men have blinded themselves. Those who think they are so close to God find themselves facing Jesus across a gigantic chasm. When backed into a corner, they accuse the formerly blind man of having been “born entirely in sin.” Yet who is closer to God now?

The chasm of sin can be overcome. Sometimes we have the power to overcome it ourselves, by swallowing our pride and asking for help. But when we don’t have this power, God comes to us instead. This man’s lifelong blindness was, indeed, a perceived separation from God, and I say “perceived” because it wasn’t a separation from God’s point of view, but only from a human point of view. Humans understood blindness to be a punishment for sin. As long as everybody believed this, it kept the blind man from knowing that he could come close to God at all. He may have wondered all his life what sins he was being punished for. Since the man is unable to reach out to God in this state, God comes to him—in the form of Jesus. With new, God-given eyes, the man can see that the Pharisees, God’s supposed gatekeepers, have no real authority in this situation. His direct encounter with Jesus’ healing touch allows him to see that God has been right in front of him all along.

Jesus also offers healing to the Pharisees. But he doesn’t force it on them, because he knows they have the power to pick it up themselves. He informs them, “If you were blind, you would not have sin. But now that you say, ‘We see,’ your sin remains.” He calls them up short and leaves them to chew on his words. If they can bring themselves to admit that they have a blind spot, healing will be available to them. But their pride has swelled to the point where it will be very hard to swallow. This is the difference between curing and healing. The blind man was cured against his will, just because he was there, and he benefited from it without even asking for it. But you can’t be healed if you are blind to the need for healing.

So Jesus demonstrates that we all need healing, whether we are the downtrodden or the powerful, the poor or the rich, the disadvantaged or the privileged. We all have our blind spots! If we are honest with ourselves, we know only too well how much we’ve screwed up: even happy, stable lives are far from perfect. We commit sin all the time just by being a part of a broken, fallen world. We can’t ever be perfect—and that’s precisely the point. It’s because we can never be perfect that we are ever in need of healing. Only once we understand that we are sinning all the time can we truly understand our need for God’s redemptive love.

But this isn’t a reason to feel guilty all the time, either. The solution to sin is not punishment, but healing, and Jesus’ healing touch comes in many forms. Have you felt distant from God lately? Whose doing is that? Have misguided people told you that God is not available to you? Or do you need to swallow your pride and accept God’s forgiveness? In either of these circumstances, the solution is the same: If you don’t feel that God is there, you have found a blind spot. Pray. Do not lose heart. When we reach out to Jesus, he responds and works to heal us, even if it takes a long, long time. When we are shunned and driven out, Jesus comes to us. When we live humbly, understanding that we are sinning even when we don’t notice, we will notice our blind spots more often. This isn’t a pleasant feeling, but it is real, and it is in itself the healing, for it brings sight. Any time we turn toward God, we are strengthening the most important relationship in our lives, a relationship with the one who is still creating us, who knows us better than we know ourselves, who feeds us every day, who heals us perpetually, and who, even in our blindness, will never leave us. Amen.

 

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

The Audacity of Repentance

Psalm 51 is an individual lament and one of several psalms of repentance, in which the speaker is not the victim of sin but its perpetrator. James L. Mays suggests that “it may have been composed for use by the congregation, and individuals as part of it, in connection with the Day of Atonement (see Lev. 16:30).”[1] Tradition connects the psalm with David’s affair with Bathsheba and Nathan’s subsequent conviction of the king’s sin (2 Sam. 11-12). In that case as well as in this, the sinner’s reaction was to cry out, “I have sinned against the LORD!” For David, the immediate result was forgiveness. Taking his cue from David, the psalmist is audacious in approaching God, firm in his belief that God can redeem him, wants to redeem him, and desires a relationship so personal that forgiveness and grace not only are certain to come, but also will exemplify God’s sovereignty and power by coming in abundance.
While the psalm begins in a place of desperation, it moves swiftly to absolute certainty that the God who acted in the lives of such fallen heroes as David will act again in the psalmist’s own life and will restore it to wholeness. Brutal honesty is the first item on the psalmist’s agenda, for he knows that this is necessary for a fresh start. A cry for mercy leads to an announcement that the psalmist has sinned against God and deserves judgment. Whatever unnamed commandment he has broken, he admits that he is guilty as charged and that God has every right to judge him severely. Nevertheless, he fully expects a merciful response from God, for this is his understanding of what God does: “as befits Your faithfulness; in keeping with Your abundant compassion” (vv. 3-4).[2] Neal H. Walls points out that this is covenant language and implies that this means God has a responsibility to forgive the penitent:
Psalm 51 shares much of its vocabulary with God’s self-revelation in Exodus 34:6-7, which describes the LORD as “merciful and gracious” (וְחַנּוּן רַחוּם), “abounding in steadfast love [חֶסֶד] and faithfulness [אֱמֶת],” and “forgiving iniquity and transgression of sin.”[3]
Furthermore, the psalmist calls out, “wash me thoroughly,” translated in the Anchor Bible as “wash me again and again.” According to Mitchell Dahood, “The psalmist seems to suggest that the number of washings should equal the number of God’s mercies.”[4] If God is as merciful as scripture and tradition teach, and if God is faithful to the covenant established with Israel, then the psalmist knows he can fully expect that mercy to become available to him.
It is commonly remarked by preachers that justice means getting what we deserve, mercy means not getting what we deserve, and grace means getting what we don’t deserve. The psalmist deserves justice and pleads for mercy, but he fully expects grace. He claims that his sin is deep enough to be inherent: “Indeed I was born with iniquity; with sin my mother conceived me” (v. 7). Even this bleak assessment, however, will not hold him back from his pleas. He implores God to do things that only God can do. How can anyone “un-sin” (תְּחַטְּאֵנִי) the sinful (v. 9)?[5] How can bones that have been crushed exult again (v. 10)? How can the sinner’s iniquities be deleted from the divine bookkeeping (v. 11)?[6] Yet God’s grace can bring righteousness out of sin and joy out of pain, and God can even change the basic mathematics of sin. He has done so before, so the psalmist expects him to do it again.
This expectation culminates in verse 12: “Fashion [create] a pure heart for me, O God; create [renew] in me a steadfast spirit.” Here the psalmist invokes the most powerful of God’s creative powers. If a heart is so corrupt that it cannot be redeemed, God can create (בְּרָא) a new one from scratch, in the same way that God created (בָּרָא) the heavens and the earth (Gen. 1:1)! Edwin McNeill Poteat adds, “And [the psalmist] even dares to insist that such response as his contrition evokes from God shall—much or little—be ungrudging.”[7]
Indeed, there is nothing stingy about God’s grace. Dahood interprets the finer points of Hebrew word order to translate “till I am pure” as “I’ll indeed be purer than gushing water,” and “till I am whiter than snow” as “I’ll be much whiter than snow”[8] [italics mine]. The psalmist is certain not of a sufficient outcome, but of an abundant outcome. And what of “the bones You have crushed” (v. 10)? Dahood is uneasy about this translation, as it seems to accuse God of having done wrong, either physically or spiritually, to a man who is confessing his own wrongdoing. He suggests an alternate verb, “purify,” which is one letter off from “crush,” but even Dahood admits the argument for it is weak.[9] Perhaps the shock of the suggestion that God has crushed the psalmist’s bones reveals the extremes of God’s power: God will even restore that which He Himself has destroyed—and not only restore, but bring back to the point of rejoicing!
            The psalmist does not expect to get something for nothing, what some call “cheap grace.” Indeed, that kind of transactional language is not appropriate, for just as he is certain God will redeem him no matter what, the psalmist is intent on praising God no matter what. But he cannot do so from within his state of sin: he needs God to restore him first, and now is the time for that to happen. After that, “I will teach transgressors Your ways” (v. 15), “I may sing forth your beneficence (v. 16),” “let my mouth declare your praise” (v. 17).
Verses 18 and following present and wrestle with a radical idea for postexilic Israel. The psalmist is so close to God that he even sees through the futility of the temple sacrifice system to remit sins. William R. Taylor writes:
It is consonant with his spiritual temper that [the psalmist] considers no offering of thanks for the answering of his appeal acceptable to God except that of a broken and contrite heart. Such a point of view is so revolutionary in its implications for the traditional sacrificial system that a later editor, fearful of its influence, sought to qualify it by the addition of vss. 18-19 [20-21].[10]
While there is no indication that the psalmist condemns the system of temple sacrifice, he most certainly does not deem it necessary in order for God’s grace to function. Perhaps it came as a welcome relief to Jews living in exile to imagine that one’s relationship with God might require no intermediary.
Even from a poetic perspective, Psalm 51 focuses on the personal relationship between the psalmist and God. No wider community is acknowledged, nor does such a community seem relevant to the situation until the final two verses which Taylor mentions above. Like many other psalms, this one revels in parallelism, but Psalm 51’s poetic cadence also relies on the first person object “-ni” ending for a series of imperative verbs that begin in verses 3-4: חָנֵּנִי (have mercy on me), כַּבְּסֵנִי (wash me), טַהֲרֵנִי (purify me). In verse 6 we see a shift from imperative pleas to recognition of God’s role in the situation, and when this happens, many verbs end with the “-kha” second person singular form, creating a new cadence: לְךָ (against you), לְבַדְּךָ (against you only), בְּדָבְרֶךָ (when you speak), בְשָׁפְטֶךָ (when you judge). Verse 9 restores the progression of imperatives: תְּחַטְּאֵנִי (purge or “un-sin” me), תְּכַבְּסֵנִי (wash me), תַּשְׁמִיעֵנִי (make me hear). In verses 13-14, the two styles alternate without a break: אַל-תַּשְׁלִיכֵנִי (cast me not away) מִלְּפָנֶיךָ (from your presence), קָדְשְׁךָ וְרוּחַ (and do not take away) מִמֶּנִּי תִּקַּח-אַל (your holy spirit from me). The two endings continue to appear throughout the remainder of the psalm. The speaker knows whom he addresses, and he expects God to act in a way that will produce abundantly positive results in his life—all for the purpose of reasserting and showing forth God’s glory.
James Mays writes, “Many of the prayers for help say, ‘Change my situation so I may praise you.’ This one says, ‘Change me; I am the problem.’”[11] Also, he notes that Psalm 51 “is not merely an expression of human remorse or preoccupation with failure and guilt; it looks beyond self to God and lays hold on the marvelous possibilities of God’s grace.”[12] The Psalmist knows that not only can God do amazing, life-restoring things, but God wants to do them and is so inclined at every available opportunity.

One year on the first Sunday in Lent, I told the members of my youth group, “Lent is a great time to work on things about yourself that need to change.” A 14-year-old boy named Adam piped up, “Or you could let God work on changing you.” I was totally called up short. I told Adam so on the spot, and I quoted him in a sermon the very next week. Adam’s comment reminded me of a simple, basic premise of our faith: God is always at work in our lives, but we get to decide how much of this work to allow. This psalmist felt the same way, and it was on that faith that he staked his ability to approach his creator with bold confidence and ask for salvation—even from within the depths of sin.

End Notes

[1] James L. Mays, Psalms (Louisville, KY: John Knox Press, 1994), 199.
[2] The translation cited throughout this paper is the Tanakh (Philadelphia: The Jewish Publication Society, 1985). Consequently, I am using the verse numbering scheme that treats the superscription as verses 1-2.
[3] Neal H. Walls, “Psalm 51:1-17, Exegetical Perspective,” in Feasting on the Word, Year A, Volume 2 (Louisville, KY: Westminster John Knox Press, 2010), 13.
[4] Mitchell Dahood, S.J., The Anchor Bible: Psalms II (51-100) (Garden City, NY: Doubleday & Company, Inc., 1968), 3.
[5] Ibid. See also William R. Taylor, “Psalm 51 Exegesis” in The Interpreter’s Bible Volume IV: Psalms, Proverbs (Nashville, TN: Abingdon Press, 1955), 270.
[6] Dahood, 3; his language refers specifically to v. 3.
[7] Ibid.
[8] Dahood, 5.
[9] Dahood, 7.
[10] Taylor, 267.
[11] Mays, 202.
[12] Ibid, 199.