What Did Jesus Do?

 Way back in the 1990s those bracelets were really popular among young, eager Christians: "WWJD?" "What would Jesus do?"

Funnily enough, though, I never heard such a conversation begin with the question that must lie behind it: "What DID Jesus do?" Better yet, what did Jesus do that he intended us to imitate?

To prepare for a class I'm currently teaching called The Christian Playbook, I read the entire Gospel of Mark and took note of all the things Mark says Jesus did. But most especially, I tried to look beneath Jesus' impressive actions -- the ones that may intimidate us, or that we likely find inimitable -- so that we don't all go trying to walk on water. What can we REALLY do?

And could it be that by imitating Jesus in the little things, we are actually being more effective in imitating Jesus' impressive actions, than we realize?

Enjoy, then, my summary of everything Jesus did in the Gospel according to Mark.

Mark 1: Engage

- Be baptized

- Proclaim good news

- Gather people

- Teach with authority

- Cast out unclean spirits

- Cure sickness

- Go to a deserted place to pray

- Move on to a new place

- Choose to heal others

Mark 2: Forgive

- Forgive sins

- Befriend sinners and eat with them

- Don’t fast when it’s time to feast

- Break a lesser law to keep a more important one

Mark 3: Reorient

- Get angry at and grieve for those who put rules ahead of relationship

- Appoint and send out others

- Speak in parables

- Find new family wherever you are

Mark 4: Dream

- Trust in the mystery of God’s long-term plans

- Imagine beyond what is realistic

- Let your light shine

- Allow yourself to grow

- Nap on boats

- Calm stormy fears

Mark 5: Restore

- Journey far away from your own familiar people and places

- Confront forces that limit freedom and cut people off from community

- When asked to leave, just go

- Allow for interruptions

- Don’t settle for superficial relationships

- Let belief override fear

- Make sure children get enough to eat

Mark 6: Depend

- Depend on the trust of others to make your good deeds effective

- Live simply, depending on others to meet your needs

- Invite friends to rest with you in a deserted place

- Let compassion change your plans and give you energy

- Use what you have and trust that there will be enough

Mark 7: Expand

- Call out hypocrisy among those in privileged positions

- Honor God by honoring the people in your life

- Watch your mouth and your intentions

- Let foreigners teach you a broader perspective

- Open people’s ears

Mark 8: Prepare

- Don’t put up with foolishness from those who won’t listen

- Expose repeating patterns of grace

- Open people’s eyes

- Take up your cross and follow

Mark 9: Transfigure

- Climb mountains

- Take your place among the greats

- Grow in understanding

- Get frustrated with shortsightedness

- Know when prayer is your only option

- Tell hard truths

- Understand power dynamics

- Remember the power of basic kindness

- Don’t hinder those who do things differently than you would

- Discipline your animal urges so you can use them appropriately

Mark 10: Deepen

- Don’t exploit people, even when you grow weary of them

- Recognize that all people and relationships are eternal

- Understand the power of vulnerability

- Give away what you don’t need

- Build interdependent community

- Don’t seek greatness, but a life of service

- Don’t assume you know what others want from you

Mark 11: Praise

- Recognize and praise true authority

- Make prophetic demonstrations

- Flip the tables of the unjust

- Want what God wants

- Make a perpetual practice of forgiveness

- Put the service of truth ahead of how you appear to others

Mark 12: Oppose

- Tell abusers that the time of their power is ending

- Know to whom you pay homage and why

- Don’t put up with those who don’t argue in good faith

- Let only love guide all your decisions

- Refute the notion of empire

- Criticize those who oppress others to retain their position

- Lift up the stories of those who give out of trust and vulnerability

Mark 13: Watch

- Don’t get attached to temporary things and situations

- Don’t listen to people whose message is attractive and requires nothing of you

- Endure despite any and all persecution and suffering

- Learn to read the signs of the times

- Stay awake and alert

Mark 14: Suffer

- Accept one-of-a-kind, extravagant gifts from those who love you

- Build community around a meal, over and over again

- Accept that you will be disloyal again and in need of forgiveness

- Pray with friends in need

- When inevitable suffering comes, don’t fight it

Mark 15: Die

- When you feel abandoned, let God know

Mark 16: Rise

- Never believe that this is truly the end

About That New Rolling Stone 500 ... What's Missing?

The internet is abuzz with the news that, for the first time in over a decade, Rolling Stone magazine has updated its list of the Best 500 Songs Ever. Of course, any such list is ridiculously subjective but makes for great conversation.

I have made a Spotify playlist of the new list. For extra credit, I'm presenting it chronologically; I just bet it'll be more fun to listen to this way. I'm also happy to see that somebody has already presented the list in a one-page format that can be downloaded and sorted in multiple ways.

You'll find all sorts of talk online about what songs were added (the most recent one is "Dynamite" by BTS, from 2020). As I sorted through the list, I also came across a number of deep album cuts I've never heard before and am eager to listen to.

But I haven't yet seen much focus on what was removed from the Top 500 to make room for the new entries. Well, here they are! And some of them will make you say, "Yeah, OK then." And others will make you want to throw things -- especially when you compare to the new list and see songs you're not much of  a fan of.

Oh, and by the way ... there are 269 songs on this list.  That's right: over half of the previous list was changed out. And, oh yes, these also are presented chronologically.

Rollin' Stone - Muddy Waters
Money Honey - The Drifters with Clyde McPhatter
I'm Your Hoochie Coochie Man - Muddy Waters
Sh-Boom - The Chords
Shake, Rattle and Roll - 'Big Joe' Turner
That's All Right - Elvis Presley
Earth Angel (Will You Be Mine) - The Penguins
I've Got a Woman - Ray Charles
I'm a Man - Bo Diddley
(We're Gonna) Rock Around The Clock - Bill Haley & His Comets
Ain't It A Shame - Fats Domino
The Great Pretender - The Platters
Mystery Train - Elvis Presley
Why Do Fools Fall In Love - Frankie Lymon & the Teenagers
Smoke Stack Lightning - Howlin' Wolf
Blue Suede Shoes - Carl Perkins
Long Tall Sally - Little Richard
Blue Suede Shoes - Elvis Presley
Please, Please, Please - James Brown
Roll Over Beethoven - Chuck Berry
Be-Bop-A-Lula - Gene Vincent and His Blue Caps
Hound Dog - Elvis Presley
Don't Be Cruel - Elvis Presley
Who Do You Love? - Bo Diddley
Love Me Tender - Elvis Presley
Brown-Eyed Handsome Man - Chuck Berry
Jim Dandy - LaVern Baker
The Girl Can't Help It - Little Richard
All Shook Up - Elvis Presley
Come Go With Me - The Dell-Vikings
Got My Mojo Working - Muddy Waters
Young Blood - The Coasters
Bye Bye Love - The Everly Brothers
Whole Lot Of Shakin' Going On - Jerry Lee Lewis
Wake Up Little Susie - The Everly Brothers
Keep A Knockin' - Little Richard
You Send Me - Sam Cooke
Everyday - Buddy Holly
Rock And Roll Music - Chuck Berry
Not Fade Away - The Crickets
Maybe - The Chantels
Sweet Little Sixteen - Chuck Berry
Rave On - Buddy Holly
For Your Precious Love - Jerry Butler & the Impressions
C'mon Everybody - Eddie Cochran
La Bamba - Ritchie Valens
Stagger Lee - Lloyd Price
Lonely Teardrops - Jackie Wilson
There Goes My Baby - The Drifters
Mack The Knife - Bobby Darin
Money (That's What I Want) - Barrett Strong
Cathy's Clown - The Everly Brothers
Wonderful World - Sam Cooke
Only The Lonely (Know The Way I Feel) - Roy Orbison
The Twist - Chubby Checker
Save The Last Dance For Me - The Drifters
Tonight's The Night - The Shirelles
Shop Around - The Miracles
Spanish Harlem - Ben E. King
Runaway - Del Shannon
Cupid - Sam Cooke
I Fall To Pieces - Patsy Cline
Hit The Road Jack - Ray Charles
Runaround Sue - Dion
Can't Help Falling In Love - Elvis Presley
The Wanderer - Dion
I Can't Stop Loving You - Ray Charles
The Loco-Motion - Little Eva
He's A Rebel - The Crystals (Blossoms)
In Dreams - Roy Orbison
One Fine Day - The Chiffons
Then He Kissed Me - The Crystals
In My Room - The Beach Boys
Please Please Me - The Beatles
I Saw Her Standing There - The Beatles
Can't Buy Me Love - The Beatles
Chapel Of Love - The Dixie Cups
Don't Worry Baby - The Beach Boys
A Hard Day's Night - The Beatles
Where Did Our Love Go - Diana Ross & the Supremes
Under The Boardwalk - The Drifters
Everybody Needs Somebody To Love - Solomon Burke
Oh, Pretty Woman - Roy Orbison
Remember (Walkin' In The Sand) - The Shangri-Las
Baby I Need Your Loving - Four Tops
Walking In The Rain - The Ronettes
She's Not There - The Zombies
You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin' - The Righteous Brothers
Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood - The Animals
I Can't Explain - The Who
Nowhere To Run - Martha & the Vandellas
Ooo Baby Baby - The Miracles
Ticket To Ride - The Beatles
The Times, They Are A-Changin' - Bob Dylan
I've Been Loving You Too Long (To Stop Now) - Otis Redding
I'll Feel a Whole Lot Better - The Byrds
I Got You Babe - Sonny & Cher
California Girls - The Beach Boys
We Gotta Get Out Of This Place - The Animals
Do You Believe In Magic? - The Lovin' Spoonful
Positively 4th Street - Bob Dylan
I Got You (I Feel Good) - James Brown
Norwegian Wood (This Bird Has Flown) - The Beatles
Highway 61 Revisited - Bob Dylan
I Fought The Law - Bobby Fuller Four
Good Lovin' - Young Rascals
Caroline, No - Brian Wilson
Sloop John B - The Beach Boys
Kicks - Paul Revere & the Raiders
When A Man Loves A Woman - Percy Sledge
It's A Man's Man's Man's World - James Brown
Rain - The Beatles
You Don't Have To Say You Love Me - Dusty Springfield
Wild Thing - The Troggs
Summer In The City - The Lovin' Spoonful
Just Like A Woman - Bob Dylan
96 Tears - ? and the Mysterians
Walk Away Renee - The Left Banke
Devil With A Blue Dress On/Good Golly Miss Molly - Mitch Ryder
Mustang Sally - Wilson Pickett
Standing In The Shadows Of Love - Four Tops
Tell It Like It Is - Aaron Neville
The End - The Doors
Gimme Some Lovin' - Spencer Davis Group
Ruby Tuesday - The Rolling Stones
For What It's Worth - The Buffalo Springfield
I Never Loved A Man (The Way I Love You) - Aretha Franklin
Do Right Woman, Do Right Man - Aretha Franklin
Hey Joe - The Jimi Hendrix Experience
Somebody To Love - Jefferson Airplane
With A Little Help From My Friends - The Beatles
All You Need Is Love - The Beatles
The Wind Cries Mary - The Jimi Hendrix Experience
The Letter - The Box Tops
Brown Eyed Girl - Van Morrison
(Your Love Keeps Lifting Me) Higher And Higher - Jackie Wilson
Soul Man - Sam & Dave
I Can See For Miles - The Who
By The Time I Get To Phoenix - Glen Campbell
Foxey Lady - The Jimi Hendrix Experience
Heroin - The Velvet Underground
Dance To The Music - Sly & the Family Stone
Alone Again Or - Love
Tighten Up - Archie Bell & The Drells
Folsom Prison Blues [Live] - Johnny Cash
Born To Be Wild - Steppenwolf
Sunshine Of Your Love - Cream
Street Fighting Man - The Rolling Stones
White Room - Cream
Piece Of My Heart - Big Brother & the Holding Company
Crossroads [Live] - Cream
While My Guitar Gently Weeps - The Beatles
It's Your Thing - The Isley Brothers
The Boxer - Simon & Garfunkel
Stand - Sly & the Family Stone
Bad Moon Rising - Creedence Clearwater Revival
Voodoo Child (Slight Return) - The Jimi Hendrix Experience
Honky Tonk Women - The Rolling Stones
Down by the River - Neil Young
Oh, What A Night - The Dells
Hot Fun In The Summertime - Sly & the Family Stone
Many Rivers to Cross - Jimmy Cliff
Come Together - The Beatles
Ramble On - Led Zeppelin
The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down - The Band
Thank You (Falettin Me Be Mice Elf Agin) - Sly & the Family Stone
The Thrill Is Gone - B.B. King
Heartbreaker - Led Zeppelin
Who'll Stop The Rain - Creedence Clearwater Revival
Rainy Night In Georgia - Brook Benton
Spirit In The Sky - Norman Greenbaum
O-o-h Child - Five Stairsteps
Band Of Gold - Freda Payne
Ohio - Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young
Moondance - Van Morrison
We've Only Just Begun - The Carpenters
My Sweet Lord - George Harrison
Me And Bobby McGee - Janis Joplin
Just My Imagination (Running Away With Me) - The Temptations
I'm Eighteen - Alice Cooper
Brown Sugar - The Rolling Stones
Tired Of Being Alone - Al Green
Respect Yourself - The Staple Singers
Black Dog - Led Zeppelin
Thirteen - Big Star
Ziggy Stardust - David Bowie
Search and Destroy - Iggy & the Stooges
I Shot the Sheriff - Bob Marley & the Wailers
You Can't Always Get What You Want - The Rolling Stones
Smoke On The Water - Deep Purple
Desperado - Eagles
That Lady - The Isley Brothers
Knockin' On Heaven's Door - Bob Dylan
Goodbye Yellow Brick Road - Elton John
Living For The City - Stevie Wonder
Piano Man - Billy Joel
Candle in the Wind - Elton John
Free Man In Paris - Joni Mitchell
Sweet Home Alabama - Lynyrd Skynyrd
Take Me To The River - Al Green
Lady Marmalade - LaBelle
Sweet Emotion - Aerosmith
Lively Up Yourself - Bob Marley & the Wailers
Cortez the Killer - Neil Young & Crazy Horse
Rhiannon (Will You Ever Win) - Fleetwood Mac
Walk This Way - Aerosmith
Maybe I'm Amazed [Live] - Wings
How Deep Is Your Love - Bee Gees
We Will Rock You - Queen
Watching the Detectives - Elvis Costello & the Attractions
Complete Control - The Clash
Running On Empty - Jackson Browne
Miss You - The Rolling Stones
Beast Of Burden - The Rolling Stones
I Wanna Be Sedated - The Ramones
Da Ya Think I'm Sexy? - Rod Stewart
Roxanne - The Police
Hot Stuff - Donna Summer
Dancing Barefoot - Patti Smith Group
One Way Or Another - Blondie
(What's So Funny 'Bout) Peace, Love & Understanding - Elvis Costello & the Attractions
Highway To Hell - AC/DC
Another Brick In The Wall (Part II) - Pink Floyd
Call Me - Blondie
Train In Vain (Stand By Me) - The Clash
On The Road Again - Willie Nelson
That's Entertainment - The Jam
Back In Black - AC/DC
I Love Rock 'N Roll - Joan Jett & the Blackhearts
Should I Stay Or Should I Go? - The Clash
New Year's Day - U2
Sunday Bloody Sunday [Live] - U2
Pink Houses - John Cougar Mellencamp
"William, It Was Really Nothing" - The Smiths
Pride (In The Name Of Love) - U2
Born In The U.S.A. - Bruce Springsteen
I Want To Know What Love Is - Foreigner
Walk This Way - Run-DMC
Graceland - Paul Simon
Sign 'O' The Times - Prince
I Know You Got Soul - Eric B. & Rakim
Push It - Salt-N-Pepa
Paradise City - Guns N' Roses
Monkey Gone to Heaven - The Pixies
Rockin' in the Free World - Neil Young
Love Shack - The B-52's
Personal Jesus - Depeche Mode
Tears In Heaven - Eric Clapton
In Bloom - Nirvana
All Apologies - Nirvana
Fake Plastic Trees - Radiohead
Hallelujah - Jeff Buckley
I Believe I Can Fly - R. Kelly
Paranoid Android - Radiohead
Bitter Sweet Symphony - The Verve
Big Pimpin' - Jay-Z featuring UGK
Beautiful Day - U2
One More Time - Daft Punk
Mississippi - Bob Dylan
The Rising - Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band
Cry Me A River - Justin Timberlake
Ignition - R. Kelly
Clocks - Coldplay
Jesus Walks - Kanye West
Take Me Out - Franz Ferdinand
American Idiot - Green Day
Rehab - Amy Winehouse
Time to Pretend - MGMT
Moment of Surrender - U2

Nowhere to Be Spotified: The 1990s

Last time I wrote about the songs from the 1980s that are not available anywhere on Spotify. Sharing the blog post to certain Facebook groups opened me up to instant correction from others, showing me that I'm not the only one keeping track of this sort of thing. I was able to update my post with more accurate information, and I hope the same could happen this time as well.

As with the 1980s, nearly all of the hits of the 1990s are available on Spotify, with no need to go more than ten deep when listing the biggest hits among them. Here's the countdown:

#10 - DEADEYE DICK - New Age Girl

From the Jim Carrey flick Dumb and Dumber -- which sported an awesome soundtrack, by the way -- comes this incredibly fun alt-pop number with the juvenile hook, "She don't eat meat, but she sure likes the bone." C'mon, you know you love it anyway.

#9 - A'ME LORAIN - Whole Wide World

I have no memory of True Love, the movie this song came from, though it was a Sundance Film Festival prize winner. And Lorain's song peaked at #9 in 1990, a time when a record label could push a song that high on the charts without a lot of real commitment from either radio or retail. Add that up and you can bet not many people go looking for this one.

#8 - LUTHER VANDROSS & JANET JACKSON - The Best Things in Life Are Free

Featuring additional vocals from most of the former members of New Edition, this all-star new jack swing duet came and went on the charts in 1992 like a rocket, forgotten almost as quickly as it appeared.

#7 - TYLER COLLINS - Girls Nite Out

Another flash-in-the-pan from 1990, you probably don't miss this one either. Grammar snobs might want to point out that "girls" should have an apostrophe after it (since presumably the night belongs to more than one of them), and that "night" is misspelled. But of course, that has nothing to do with its unavailability.

#6 - THE KLF - 3 A.M. Eternal

This club favorite from 1991 was available recently, but not currently, and that's a shame. Also missing is the actual hit version of its follow-up, "Justified and Ancient," with the fabulous Tammy Wynette.

#5 - VANILLA ICE - Play That Funky Music

Yes, you'll find the album version, but that doesn't count. The single version was rewritten with lines like, "Some people that I wouldn't break/ Then I stuffed number one in their face." It took me years to figure out that of course, he couldn't have put these lyrics on his album before "Ice Ice Baby" hit #1. And don't get me started on the fact the Vanilla can't sing in tune. It's not cool to caterwaul like this when you have none of the charm of Biz Markie.

#4 - RYTHM SYNDICATE - P.A.S.S.I.O.N.

Hmmm, maybe there's something to the misspellings being a problem? After their first album, they corrected "Rythm" to "Rhythm," but it didn't help them score another hit. I have a memory of a college buddy and me singing this chorus in parallel fifths as a Gregorian chant.

#3 - DIVINE - Lately

This one comes and goes from Spotify from time to time, but it's currently greyed out. It's a pleasant little R&B ballad from 1998 that spent a week at #1 on the Hot 100.

#2 - P.M. DAWN - Set Adrift on Memory Bliss

There's an unconvincing fake version out there. Don't fall for it. Don't settle for less than the glorious original, also a #1 Hot 100 hit.

#1 - - The Most Beautiful Girl in the World

The first hit as an unpronounceable symbol for the artist formerly known as Prince has yet to appear on Spotify, years after the rest of his catalog made it there. I wonder why?

Of course, the biggest chart hits aren't always the most important songs. You won't find "Voices That Care," the supergroup benefit record David Foster put together at the time of the Gulf War. You won't find Folk Implosion's amazing "Natural One" from the gritty, depressing movie Kids. And while some of Aaliyah's catalog is finally showing up, you won't find "If Your Girl Only Knew" or "One in a Million."

There are also many versions of hits that are just ... the wrong one. Sometimes the album version needed a little more oomph to make it as a hit single, so a remix came out -- and you can't get the remix. Notable examples include "Every Heartbeat" and "Good for Me" by Amy Grant, "Piece of My Heart" by Tara Kemp, "I Get Around" by 2Pac, "Tic-Tac-Toe" by Kyper, and "The Motown Song" by Rod Stewart.

Another common theme for missing songs is cover tunes, and that makes sense when you figure that there are legal ramifications involving the original artists and writers. Check out this extensive list of '90s covers you can't hear on Spotify:

VARIOUS ARTISTS - ESPN Presents the Jock Jam [a medley of stadium favorites]
ADAM CLAYTON & LARRY MULLEN - Theme from 'Mission: Impossible'
RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS - Love Rollercoaster
THE WALLFLOWERS - Heroes
BONNIE RAITT - You Got It
THE B.C. 52s - (Meet) the Flintstones
HUEY LEWIS & THE NEWS - (She's) Some Kind of Wonderful
ERICK SERMON, KEITH MURRAY & REDMAN - Rapper's Delight
DIVINE - One More Try
WARREN G - What's Love Got to Do with It
CLINT BLACK - Desperado
ALAN JACKSON - Tequila Sunrise
JOOSE - If Tomorrow Never Comes
GARTH BROOKS - Hard Luck Woman

And this leads us to the most egregious missing element of the '90s on Spotify: Anything and everything by Garth Brooks, during the decade he scored nearly all of his big hits. You won't find "Friends in Low Places," or "The River," or "What She's Doing Now," or "Ain't Goin' Down ('Til the Sun Comes Up)." I mentioned in the previous blog that Garth recently signed an exclusive deal with Amazon Prime for his catalog.

Oh well -- someday. Remember that for many years, not even the Beatles were available in Spotify. They've come a long way.

Nowhere to Be Spotified: The 1980s

A couple years ago I blogged about the biggest hits of all time that are not available on Spotify. The thing is, though -- and only really hardcore users notice this -- what's available on Spotify changes constantly. Copyright disputes come and go. New compilations of old songs are released, and others are removed from availability. Certain classic songs come and go from Spotify with no clear explanation. It's very hard to stay on top of all this.

My Pop Music Anthology is a website created to link you to all the most important pop songs in history ... on Spotify. So I'm constantly checking to see if previously unavailable songs have shown up. I've been busy lately, as all sorts of really deep cuts have been appearing. It looks like the folks at Spotify have been busy, too.

For that reason, I've decided to update my list one decade at a time. This time we'll just look at the 1980s. And as always, I have to say that I'm impressed that Spotify's list is so complete. We'll count down the 10 biggest pop hits of the 1980s that are not on Spotify. Then we'll take note of a few other significant songs that are currently unavailable.

UPDATE: Thanks to the help of some other very attentive fans, I have had to correct some errors in this post! Here's the updated list. 

#10 - JIMMY HARNEN & SYNCH - Where Are You Now?

You will find a song on Spotify called "Where Are You Now" by Synch. It sure ain't this. The song I'm actually talking about peaked at #77 in the spring of 1986, then came back from the dead in 1989 to make it all the way to #10 on the Billboard Hot 100.

#9 - IRENE CARA - Breakdance

Despite the title, I can't imagine this was really one of the top tunes to breakdance to in 1984. It was more like a way of capitalizing on an existing trend. That was also the summer of the movie Breakin'. And it was the summer that my little brother, at the age of 9, became the best breakdancer in Rupert, Idaho.

#8 - SA-FIRE - Thinking of You

I think you have to be exactly my age to remember this #12-peaking hit from the spring of 1989. Sa-Fire fell into that category of dance artists who recorded one ballad and got significant radio play out of it.

#7 - REGINA - Baby Love

In 1986, everyone wanted to be Madonna, and Regina is probably the most obvious one. You could be forgiven for assuming this was a cut from the True Blue album; instead, it was Regina's one play for stardom, and after it peaked at #10, she was never heard from again.

#6 - PAUL McCARTNEY - Spies Like Us

Now we're into the range of songs you may remember but probably wish you didn't. I can only imagine that this #7-peaking atrocity is unavailable on Spotify because Paul McCartney insists on it.

#5 - MICHAEL McDONALD - Sweet Freedom

And suddenly, we're into the realm of, "Hey, what gives?" This song has never appeared on Spotify. I have no idea why. From the soundtrack of the film Running Scared, it also peaked at #7 on the Billboard Hot 100.

#4 - DONNY OSMOND - Soldier of Love

You'll find a 12" remix of this song on Spotify, but that doesn't count in my book. Donny Osmond returned in a big way in 1989 and took this song to #2. It's a pretty crappy song, though. It just happened to sound like everything else on the radio that year.

#3 - MICHAEL DAMIAN - Rock On

The year 1989 is actually one of the worst for retention of old songs on Spotify. This is the first of three #1 smashes that you will not find. Well, you will find that Damian did a horrible re-recording years later. Don't bother with it.

#2.5 - GEORGE MICHAEL - I Want Your Sex

I'm not counting this one as a full entry on the list because it is there -- it's just that if you want to listen to it, you'll also have to hear "I Want Your Sex Part 2" -- and together they run nine minutes long. Is that really such a bad thing, though? (That said, I do have a gripe about "A Love Bizarre," below. Well, it's my blog, so I don't need to be totally consistent in my methodology!)

#2 - EDDY GRANT - Electric Avenue

It's a crime that this #2 smash from the summer of 1983 is not there. I seem to remember that it appeared for a little while, perhaps evading the radar of some exec in a suit. But you won't find it now -- nor will you find Eddy's other memorable song, the title theme from the movie Romancing the Stone.

#1 - TONI BASIL - Mickey

Basil is another artist who later re-recorded her own #1 hit, possibly due to a label dispute. (We know more about that these days as we watch Taylor Swift re-record everything she's ever done.) The newly rechristened "Hey Mickey" is on Spotify -- but it's not the hit. As I type this, over 2.7 million spins come from people who apparently don't care.

Occasionally I'll read comments on blogs like this about how awful the people at Spotify are for leaving out this song or that song. Don't blame them -- it's not their fault. Every song that appears on the streaming platform has to be cleared legally, and again, it's impressive how little is actually missing.

While we're talking about the 1980s, it's worth mentioning a few songs that weren't gigantic pop hits like these, but which are culturally significant and should be present as well.

First, a few classic R&B tracks:

SHEILA E. - A Love Bizarre

I find this one especially frustrating, because you can actually take your pick of three versions of this song on Spotify: the 12-minute album version (what?!), a live version from, of all sources, a Ringo Starr concert tour album (huh?!), and a misspelled version ("A Love Bizzare - Pt. 1"), the closest thing to what you're looking for, from NOW That's What I Call 80s Hits & Remixes. But because that entire collection is beat-mixed together, you have to hear Billy Ocean sing over the first note, and the track will end cold as the mix shifts into Cameo's "Word Up!"

S.O.S. BAND - Just Be Good to Me

This one used to be there -- I have no idea why it's gone missing, along with another classic of theirs, "The Finest."

VANITY 6 - Nasty Girl

For a long time before his death, Prince was not on Spotify, and neither were very many of his side projects. This is a classic one that still isn't there.

AFRO-RICAN - Give It All You Got (Doggy Style)

OK, you probably weren't missing that one, but it is also something of a classic.

Now for a few country songs:

RONNIE McDOWELL - Older Women
RONNIE MILSAP - She Keeps the Home Fires Burning
DWIGHT YOAKAM - Guitars, Cadillacs

If you were into country music back in the '80s, you might care that these are not available. But they all pale in comparison to ...

GARTH BROOKS - Much Too Young (to Feel This Damn Old)

This was Garth's first hit, so when I blog about the 1990s, you'll hear me complain a lot more. For many years, Brooks allowed none of his music onto any streaming platforms, and then he signed an exclusive deal with Amazon Music. I've always thought he was shooting himself in the foot, which is not something you expect a guy in a white hat and chaps to do.

And that brings us to what may be the single most important 1980s song that's missing from Spotify. It was there up until just recently ... what happened?

DE LA SOUL - Me, Myself & I

This hip hop classic was (and this is one juicy bit of trivia) the first top 40 hit not to be available as a 7" vinyl single since the introduction of that format. You could buy a 12" vinyl single containing the remixes. Or you could buy it on cassette single or maxi-single.

The Biggest Hits of All Time*

* Well, not of the entire 15-billion-year history of the universe. That would be silly. For the purpose of this blog post, "all time" means from 1940 to the present, which is a more generous definition than most pop culture blogs would ever use. I've never even seen Billboard magazine attempt it. So there.

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I've always been fascinated by the pop music charts. Beginning on the Sunday afternoon in 1985 when I discovered Casey Kasem's American Top 40, I've always wanted to learn more about music popularity. It's part music appreciation, part sociology, and part geeking out in the world of statistics. So to those who enjoy sports statistics, hey, this is my version of that.

Many people know me as an Episcopal priest trying to figure out how the Church can be the Church during a pandemic and quarantine when we can't get together in person to worship. That truly gives me joy. But when it gets to be too much to deal with, I can always take refuge in my pop music collection and hobbies.

To that end, for the first time ever, I have just calculated the biggest hits of all time (1940-2020).

What are my criteria? Well ... it's complicated. It starts with the week-by-week Billboard pop music charts that go all the way back to 1940, collected in massive, decade-by-decade spreadsheets with all sorts of formulas in them. And I should note that I have calculated my own weekly charts for the years 1944-1958 and 1991-2020, using Billboard data but re-jiggering each weekly chart to produce something that, in my belief, better reflects the actual popularity of songs. I can do this because nobody's paying me to do it or will hold me to any standards other than my own. So take or leave this, and if you're curious about the differences, we can talk.

The other thing to take into account is the fact that at different times in history, the charts have worked differently. Sometimes (like in the mid- to late 1960s), hit songs have come and gone in a flash, becoming enduring classics despite not having stuck around long enough to rack up a ton of points. At other times (like 2020), the charts move at a glacial pace, with the biggest hits hanging around on the chart for a year or more. I have had to weight the songs from different eras so that they all match up somehow. This is also reflected here.

So, bearing in mind the sheer arbitrariness of this whole project, and bearing in mind that I'll change my methods again in the future ... I want to share my joy with you.

Here are the TOP 100 SONGS OF ALL TIME ...

100. We Found Love - Rihanna featuring Calvin Harris (2012)

99. Lose Yourself - Eminem (2003)

98. Sugar, Sugar - The Archies (1969)

97. Rolling In The Deep - Adele (2011)

96. I'll Never Smile Again - Tommy Dorsey & His Orchestra (Vocal Frank Sinatra & Pied Pipers) (1940)

95. Another One Bites The Dust - Queen (1980)

94. Little Things Mean a Lot - Kitty Kallen (1954)

93. Hanging By A Moment - Lifehouse (2001)

92. The Ballad Of The Green Berets - S/Sgt. Barry Sadler (1966)

91. Radioactive - Imagine Dragons (2013)

90. I Can't Stop Loving You - Ray Charles (1962)

89. At The Hop - Danny & The Juniors (1958)

88. Aquarius/Let The Sunshine In (The Flesh Failures) - The 5th Dimension (1969)

87. Sugar Shack - Jimmy Gilmer (1963)

86. (We're Gonna) Rock Around The Clock - Bill Haley & His Comets (1955)

85. Like A Virgin - Madonna (1985)

84. Perfect - Ed Sheeran (2018)

83. Flashdance...What A Feeling - Irene Cara (1983)

82. Silly Love Songs - Wings (1976)

81. The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face - Roberta Flack (1972)

80. Raindrops Keep Fallin' On My Head - B.J. Thomas (1970)

79. Heartbreak Hotel - Elvis Presley (1956)

78. Joy To The World - Three Dog Night (1971)

77. Old Town Road - Lil Nas X featuring Billy Ray Cyrus (2019)

76. Blurred Lines - Robin Thicke featuring T.I. & Pharrell (2013)

75. Just The Way You Are - Bruno Mars (2010)

74. Alone Again (Naturally) - Gilbert O'Sullivan (1972)

73. Big Girls Don't Cry - The Four Seasons (1963)

72. TiK ToK - Ke$ha (2010)

71. Buttons and Bows - Dinah Shore (1948)

70. Rhinestone Cowboy - Glen Campbell (1975)

69. The Way We Were - Barbra Streisand (1974)

68. How Deep Is Your Love - Bee Gees (1978)

67. The Battle Of New Orleans - Johnny Horton (1959)

66. Run It! - Chris Brown (2006)

65. Cherry Pink And Apple Blossom White - Perez Prado & His Orchestra (1955)

64. Torn - Natalie Imbruglia (1998)

63. There Are Such Things - Tommy Dorsey & His Orchestra (Vocal Frank Sinatra & Pied Pipers) (1943)

62. Say You, Say Me - Lionel Richie (1986)

61. Twelfth Street Rag - Pee Wee Hunt & His Orchestra (1948)

60. On Bended Knee - Boyz II Men (1995)

59. Every Breath You Take - The Police (1983)

58. That's What Friends Are For - Dionne & Friends (1986)

57. Apologize - Timbaland featuring OneRepublic (2008)

56. Big Girls Don't Cry - Fergie (2007)

55. You Were Meant For Me - Jewel (1997)

54. Party Rock Anthem - LMFAO featuring Lauren Bennett & GoonRock (2011)

53. Somebody That I Used To Know - Gotye featuring Kimbra (2012)

52. I Just Want To Be Your Everything - Andy Gibb (1977)

51. Don't Be Cruel - Elvis Presley (1956)

50. Iris - Goo Goo Dolls (1998)

49. I Will Always Love You - Whitney Houston (1993)

48. Low - Flo Rida featuring T-Pain (2008)

47. The Gypsy - The Ink Spots (1946)

46. The Sign - Ace Of Base (1994)

45. Because of You - Tony Bennett (1951)

44. Girls Like You - Maroon 5 featuring Cardi B (2018)

43. You You You - The Ames Brothers (1953)

42. To Each His Own - Eddy Howard & His Orchestra (1946)

41. It's All In The Game - Tommy Edwards (1958)

40. Le Freak - Chic (1979)

39. Riders in the Sky (A Cowboy Legend) - Vaughn Monroe & His Orchestra (1949)

38. I'm A Believer - The Monkees (1967)

37. Physical - Olivia Newton-John (1982)

36. Goodnight Irene - Gordon Jenkins & the Weavers (1950)

35. Heartaches - Ted Weems & His Orchestra (1947)

34. Say Say Say - Paul McCartney & Michael Jackson (1984)

33. (Everything I Do) I Do It For You - Bryan Adams (1991)

32. Endless Love - Diana Ross & Lionel Richie (1981)

31. Mona Lisa - Nat King Cole (Les Baxter & His Orchestra) (1950)

30. Cry - Johnnie Ray & The Four Lads (1952)

29. Despacito - Luis Fonsi featuring Daddy Yankee & Justin Bieber (2017)

28. Bette Davis Eyes - Kim Carnes (1981)

27. Vaya Con Dios (May God Be With You) - Les Paul & Mary Ford (1953)

26. Piano Concerto In B Flat - Freddy Martin & His Orchestra (1941)

25. The Theme From A Summer Place - Percy Faith (1960)

24. Sentimental Journey - Les Brown & His Orchestra (Vocal Doris Day) (1945)

23. How You Remind Me - Nickelback (2002)

22. I Gotta Feeling - The Black Eyed Peas (2009)

21. Circles - Post Malone (2020)

20. Tossin' And Turnin' - Bobby Lewis (1961)

19. I Want To Hold Your Hand - The Beatles (1964)

18. Yeah! - Usher featuring Ludacris & Lil Jon (2004)

17. Chattanooga Choo Choo - Glenn Miller & His Orchestra (1942)

16. We Belong Together - Mariah Carey (2005)

15. I've Heard That Song Before - Harry James & His Orchestra (1943)

14. Shape of You - Ed Sheeran (2017)

13. Frenesi - Artie Shaw & His Orchestra (1941)

12. Uptown Funk! - Mark Ronson featuring Bruno Mars (2015)

11. Closer - The Chainsmokers featuring Halsey (2016)

10. Smooth - Santana featuring Rob Thomas (2000)

9. You Light Up My Life - Debby Boone (1977)

8. Near You - Francis Craig & His Orchestra (1947)

7. End Of The Road - Boyz II Men (1992)

6. Paper Doll - The Mills Brothers (1944)

5. Mack The Knife - Bobby Darin (1959)

4. Hey Jude - The Beatles (1968)

3. In the Mood - Glenn Miller & His Orchestra (1940)

2. White Christmas - Bing Crosby (1942)

1. The Twist - Chubby Checker (1962)

Incidentally, "The Twist" is the only song in history to have hit #1, dropped off the chart, and returned later to hit #1 again. This happened in 1960 and 1962.

"White Christmas," on the other hand, was a #1 smash during the Christmas season of 1942 and kept coming back year by year for a long time. The recent effect of streaming music on the charts has given "White Christmas" another lease on life, with it returning to the weekly charts at Christmastime each year again.

The top two songs were well ahead of #3, and they were very close to each other in points. If streaming music continues to affect Christmas music on the charts, it might not take too many years for "White Christmas" to overtake "The Twist." That is, unless some other stunningly huge hit comes along first to displace them both!

On Baptism and Communion

In the Episcopal Church right now there's a lively debate about whether people who are not baptized should receive Holy Communion. There are very good arguments on both sides. In my life I’ve waffled back and forth on the question. Here are my current thoughts.

First, I will never refuse Communion from anyone who comes to me with hands outstretched. Period.

Next, I imagine a series of concentric circles called “Ways that Holy Communion makes sense.” The further you go toward the center, the more the whole thing hangs together.

At the center are baptized people. For us, Communion is a weekly reminder of the vows of baptism that we have either undertaken, or that were made on our behalf when we were little and that we can adopt as adults anytime we like. In this case, Communion is a refueling for a journey we have accepted.

At the next ring out are the unbaptized who are actively seeking Christ. They want to know more about Jesus and learn all they can. For them, Communion is like a promise, a spurring on toward deeper things. That may well lead to a conversation with other Christians about baptism.

Many others are at the third ring out: hungry for something, but not sure what. In that case, hey, we have food. Come and be fed, because nobody should be turned away. At this level we cannot let it be perceived to be about jumping through hoops, or gatekeeping, or some notion of theological correctness. It’s about feeding people who are hungry -- surprise guests for supper.

These days, the only people I ask to fast from Communion are those who are actively seeking baptism, have entered that process officially, and will find value in holding off in order to be hungry for the big feast after they’re baptized.

(There are also hypothetical situations in which a person who is being actively destructive to the faith community could be unseated from the table, at least for a time. Thankfully, there’s nobody like that in my church right now.)

If this feels squishy, it’s because I’ve come to understand Holy Communion as so mystical that I can’t possibly know enough about how God works to proclaim with confidence who should not receive. And I most certainly understand God’s love to be so huge and all-encompassing that I can see my notions of liturgical correctness as well-meant rules that are sometimes made to be broken.

Last week at my mother-in-law’s Roman Catholic funeral service, I was given the opportunity to receive Holy Communion. The priest probably saw it as “squishy” that I, a non-Catholic, might receive God’s grace in this way. But I really, really needed it. It meant so much to me, and I’m grateful to the priest for allowing it.